A small apartment, somewhere in Metropolis
“Honey I’m home!” Booster shouted sunnily.
“Never stops being funny buddy.” Ted sighed not looking away from the television.
“Hey could you help me with these?” Booster asked purposefully rustling the many groceries he carried.
“Yeah sorry I was just watching the recap of Superman’s recent battle against the…” But the words died in Ted Kord’s throat as he stood and turned to help his friend only to see him in full costume.
“You went to the store like that?”
“Yeah really helps speeds things along.” Booster laughed with a smug nod.
“How on Earth does it… You know what? Never mind.” Ted said sternly but his face betrayed his clear amusement.
“So never mind Supes’ leftovers any threats or daring do left for us?” Booster smiled opening their fridge.
“No.” Ted sighed again, “I thought maybe I saw Hector Hammond at work but it was just some guy with a big head.”
“How was the genius bar today?”
“Filled with idiots.” Ted deadpanned, “How was the museum?”
“Fine… though I wish someone would actually try to steal something, it’s getting a little boring. Oh! But you know that guy who always talks about the art?”
“The guide.”
“Right. I think I’m starting to understand what he’s talking about.”
“I’ve never been more proud.”
“You and me both sir.” Skeets beeped suddenly from behind them, causing both men to jump slightly.
“Skeets damn it all, I’ve told you to make a noise as you enter a room. Hum, count, sing a few bars of Copacabana… something!” Booster shrieked.
“I just thought it might be wise if you look at the television sirs.” The machine said wearily. Both men turned towards the TV: the face of a vaguely familiar man plastered across it.
“This just in: Cain Navarro may have some competition for the Republican nomination in the upcoming presidential election as Martin “Funky” Flashman née Fleischmann has joined the race. Flashman is most known for his criminal conviction in connection with the supervillain cell known as the Secret Society of Supervillains, prior to that he was the publicist for the lesser known superhero ‘Mister Miracle’. Flashman has said that his time with both villains and heroes has informed his approach to super crime and he aims to ‘Make the Multiverse Great Again’. More at 11.”
As the newscaster went back to talking about possibly contaminated foods you should be on the lookout for (without actually telling you which foods they are) the three of them stood in stunned silence that was finally broken by Booster:
“What the actual f—”
ALL-STAR COMICS
“Don’t Believe the Hype”
By Dan Dolan
“…and that should put the rumors of my small feet to rest!” Funky Flashman mugged for the cameraman with vulgar grin.
“And his shoes are back on, I repeat his shoes are back on.” William Houseroy, Mister Flashman’s personal assistant sighed into the communicator in his ear. The put upon toady stood behind the would-be president in his somewhat small office, adjacent to Flashman’s exaggerated cartoonishly giant desk.
“Mister Flashman!” A member of the press yelled out.
“Yes, you in the short skirt. Though it could be shorter right guys?” Funky mugged for the cameras and was met with awkward looks a smattering of forced laughs.
“Uh yes. Well, Senator Finch has accused you of being the Queen Bee’s “drone”. Implying your rumored debt and/or improper connection to the Bialyan dictator? How do you respond to that?”
“Old Crooked June? Eh? She’s the drone! She drone!” Flashman lashed out, his face going inward almost, all scrunched and child-like.
“I think too much airtime has gone to Senator Finch’s nasty comments and not enough attention has been paid to her assistant’s emails with a senator known to associate with associates of Lex Luthor.” Houseroy said, stepping forward before stepping back again and nodding a clearly rattled Flashman.
“This is the country of Superman, we’ve got to start acting like it! We’ve got a woman running for president who belongs in Blackgate! Lock her up!” Flashman shouted with gusto as he made several emphatic and vaguely vulgar gestures for the cameras.
“Get that on a T-shirt stat.” Houseroy buzzed into his earcom.
“I know Superman!” Booster Gold shouted overconfidently as he stormed into the room, Blue Beetle and Skeets somewhat more casually following in behind him, “and you sir are no Superman.”
The reporters buzzed around the three of them.
“Hey look over here.” One cameraman shouted, practically right in Blue Beetle’s face.
“Calm down citizens.” Booster said dramatically.
“Stay in your lane Michael.” Ted patted his shoulder.
“Are you new superheroes?” One shouted out.
“Have you come to endorse Flashman for president? What is your stance on the election?”
Booster rounded on this reporter.
“No we most definitely have not come to endorse this man! And… wait new?” Booster started strong but his voice faltering as a hurt look crossed his face.
“That’s not important right now.” Ted said laying a hand on his shoulder.
“Ladies and gentlemen of the press.” Houseroy smiled and stood forward, “We’d like to thank these new vigilantes for their support and we hope to return it, we’ll have to see how they do in a real situation right?” He laughed, quickly joined by many members of the press.
“Wait no.” Booster started.
“This man is a criminal, which is why we’re here.” Ted reiterated firmly.
“What crime are you accusing him of?” A reporter shouted back.
“He…” Ted started but was quickly interrupted.
“State your codename for the record.”
Ted sighed loudly.
“Blue Beetle. This man was involved with at least one iteration of the Secret Society of Supervillains, he has been convicted of embezzlement, and he is a con-artist and an extortionist.”
This was met with blank looks.
“And?” A reporter asked, motioning for him to go on.
“AND?!” Booster shouted back.
“Booster Gold.” Skeets interjected preemptively, with not a small amount of sarcasm in his technological voice.
“Yes any new crimes?”
“Of course not.” Flashman laughed, “They’re just jealous. Sad.”
“While we here at the Flashman campaign appreciate these new vigilantes’ initiative in coming here. Perhaps their enthusiasm is getting the better of them, once they get more experience at the “hero game” they may feel more comfortable attempting to apprehend actual criminals not those who have already paid their debt to society.” Houseroy crossed his arms.
“We do appreciate your support!” Flashman beamed, suddenly right next to Booster roughly grabbing his hand in a weirdly aggressive handshake as the flash of a camera went off.
# # # # # # # # # #
“That could’ve gone better.” Ted said watching the heavily edited footage of Booster, himself and Skeets at the press conference now playing as a Flashman for President campaign ad.
“I can’t believe this is happening.” Booster groaned.
“I would get used to it, if I were you.” Skeets beeped flatly, “His poll numbers are through the roof. People are definitely buying what he’s selling.”
“What he’s selling? He barely spoke.” Ted sighed again. He was sighing more than talking these days, “He acted like a child, he screamed, he made vulgar comments… I mean why are we still having this conversation? I feel like I’m going crazy, why is this being allowed to happen?” Ted rambled literally
“Because people are talking about it.” Booster said slowly.
“What?”
“If I know anything it’s publicity and fame or infamy as the case may be.” Booster said suddenly energized, “He’s getting people talking about all the wrong things!”
“So what should we be talking about?” Ted asked.
“Skeets. What was that thing they asked him while we were waiting in the hallway listening for a cool line to enter on?”
“A reporter made in an inquiry into his reaction the likely Democratic nominee, Senator June Finch’s talking point early in the week implying he is a under the thrall of the Queen Bee of Bialya.”
Booster and Beetle looked at each other as smiles slowly grew on their faces.
# # # # # # # # # #
“Thank you so much Abdul, I’m so glad you’re still alive.” Booster smiled, phone in one hand throwing Blue Beetle a thumbs up with the other.
“We met him during our Justice League International days.” Ted said with a smug smile.
“Yes I know…” Skeets beeped.
“Bialya is somewhat infamous for politicians having short shelf-life is all I’m saying.” Booster said suddenly seemingly losing track of the conversation. Ted’s smile faltered and he quickly motioned for Booster to wrap it up.
“Yes okay. Yes I will. I will. No, really I will. Okay just send it.” Booster began to pace but soon enough an electronic beep wrung out that for once wasn’t just Skeets being rude. The three turned toward their fax machine as several papers rolled in.
“Yes!” Ted shouted.
“Okay goodbye Abdul and remember if someone wants to be leader of Bialya… yes that’s right just let them have it. They’ll be gone in a week anyhow. Goodbye my friend and thank you.” He said finally hanging up the phone, “Oh my God that man is a talker.” Booster sighed.
“We got it that’s all that matters.”
“What is it we have?” Skeets asked.
“Well there’s always a paper trail.” Ted said regaining his still fragile smile, “Most of Flashman’s campaign donations have been coming from a shell corporation owned by Bialyan nationals. Our old friend Abdul from…”
“When we went undercover in Bialya with the Justice League” All three said together with varying degrees of sincerity.
“Yes, well” Ted continued, “Is still on the inside surprisingly answering to a ‘King Bee?’ I mean seriously who thought that name was a good idea? Get an original thought people…”
“Ted.” Booster snapped though not unkindly.
“Right. He said he may get hanged for this but he felt we owed him one and he asked us to contact the current League to see if they could head over there for a bit and see what they can do about all the terror and what not and long story short…”
“Too late.” Booster and Skeets said at once.
“He sent us the records of the bribes, who’s been laundering them and proof that they come from King Bee himself who is considered a dictator in the world at large.”
“This could work.” Skeets beeped.
“You sound surprised?” Ted asked.
“Well… Michael is the one that came up with the idea.” Skeets followed, Ted thought about this then smiled.
“I know right?”
Both Beetle and the small robot broke into laughter.
“Well see there Michael?” Skeets chirped, “It’s always better to do the research then going in halfcocked.” He motioned to the monitors still playing the campaign ad in which Booster featured.
“Well I hate to say it but you’re right Skeets.” Booster smiled.
“You hate to say it?” Skeets asked quietly but was ignored.
“Yes well done Booster. So what’s our next move?” Ted asked.
“We go get him!” Booster ran out of the room.
“It’s like I’m speaking Tamaranean.” Skeets said gloomily.
# # # # # # # # # #
The Flashman rally in the heart of Metropolis was just as flashy as the name implicates. Just as crazy and overstimulating as it was possible to be without it being New Year’s Eve or involving fake wrestling for entertainment.
“We need to focus on America first!” Flashman yelled from the podium, “Look at the illegal aliens pouring into this country. Starfire, Beast Boy, Martian Man-Hunter? Look at that name! He hunts men, it says it right there.”
The crowd cheered.
“When I see Superman, the best our country has to offer shaking hands with that green skinned monster I just want to vomit.”
“You and me both pal… for different reasons.” Booster mumbled to himself as he, Ted and Skeets lurked in the shadows of a nearby alley.
“We realize that there’s at least a 95% chance we’ll be used in another ad for this guy we don’t actually get him on something right?” Ted looked around anxiously.
“I know.” Booster sighed.
“Does he know that Beast Boy isn’t an alien and Superman is?” Skeets beeped.
“I think the list of things he does know would probably be smaller.” Ted glowered.
Up on the stage Flashman was finished rambling on about the dangers of extraterrestrials and began to move on to how the Justice League needed to start winning again. Once more Houseroy stood right by him, talking into his ever present ear set.
“Okay he’s confused himself, let’s move in before he tries to overcompensate by describing his sex life again.” Booster said motioning for them to follow him. Booster let of a harmless light flash from his palm which successfully not only got the crowds’ attention and got them to move aside so they could make their way to the stage. Booster ran for it while Ted and Skeets moved forward at a calmer saner pace.
“This should be good: they’re back.” Houseroy mumbled with a roll of his eyes.
“In closing, I want to thank you all for coming out to see me. This is easily the biggest crowd any presidential nominee has ever had!” Flashman shouted, as unaware as ever, throwing what appeared to be am overly fratty combination of the thumbs up and finger guns.
“Not if I have anything to say about it!” Booster said suddenly as the small group burst on to the stage.
“What?” A woman aggressively holding a baby towards Funky Flashman asked, her manic glee quickly turning to bewilderment.
“I don’t know, I was really out of breath and didn’t really catch what he just said.” Booster said leaning forward with his hands on his knees.
“Ladies and gentlemen.” Houseroy said haughtily, stepping forward, “We’d like to thank our staff superheroes for finally making an appearance. Give them a hand!” He clapped, the crowd soon joining in.
“Booster stop waving.” Ted scowled as he and Skeets joined him on stage.
“Sorry, they were applauding… it’s a reflex.”
“We’re here for a reason.” Ted said turning to the crowd, “You sir.” he said pointing to Flashman, “Are an agent of the King Bee of Bialya!”
“That is ridiculous.” Funky sneered, playing to the crowd with a laugh.
“Tell that to the video-tape.” Booster shouted pointing to Skeets, when nothing happened he turned to see the robot posing for a picture with one of Flashman’s supporters.
“Booster! We have the records… no one said anything about a video tape.” Ted said making a cut it out gesture across his throat.
“How embarrassing.” Houseroy laughed.
“Sad.” Flashman agreed.
“We’re simply here to make sure that due process occurs without any chance for evasion.”
“What?” Flashman asked looking to Houseroy.
“What too many big words?” Booster laughed, “Maybe you’d like a visual aid.”
Sure enough a serious looking woman in a well-worn suit soon stormed onto the stage, flashing a badge as she did so, flanked by two uniformed police officers.
“Martin Flashman.” She said intensely, “You are going to have to come with us.”
“What is this?” Houseroy snapped moving to stand in front of his boss.
“Mister Flashman is wanted for questioning in connection to a money laundering operation that has recently been brought to our attention.” She explained.
“Our?” Houseroy asked more desperately, seemingly trying to stall.
“Caroline Quillian, FBI. But I’m sure when I’m through with him, you’ll get to meet plenty of new people as he’s also been asked about by our pals at Homeland Security, CIA and even Checkmate. Lucky him… he really is famous.” She smirked as the two officers moved around Houseroy to place handcuffs on Funky as he continued smiling for photos while they led him out.
“Justice!” Booster shouted throwing up his hands excitedly only to be almost immediately hit in the head by a nearly full plastic cup of beer. The first shot out of the way the entire team found themselves under a barrage of food and drink and a wave of jeers erupted from the crowd.
“Alright we may want to focus on speed rather than dramatics for our exit.” Skeets beeped.
“What is wrong with you people???” Booster shouted as Ted tried to pull him back.
“I’d say a rampant feeling of personal insecurity, inferiority complexes and fragile male egos.” Ted snapped looking out at the crowd, “But let’s dive into that later shall we?!?!” he said attempting to heard the other two as a cheeseburger just barely missed his head.
“Another job well done.” Skeets sighed.
# # # # # # # # # #
Back at the apartment, well after midnight, Booster couldn’t sleep. Ted, having some trouble in that department himself, found the blond man curled up in the sofa by the TV, looking like a kicked pup. As the Blue Beetle neared his friend he saw that the News was on, most of the reports on the various screens were covering protests and some riots, driven by angry Flashman supporters.
“Hey bud, what’s up?” Ted asked, sitting down next to his friend.
“I just… I don’t get how they could be upset that we stopped someone like that from becoming he most powerful man in America.”
“People… people don’t always know what they want. They think they do, they hope they do… they pick something and put all their hopes and dreams on it and sometimes they don’t even realize what they’re picking. It’s all luck and chance in the end. You hope you’re aiming at the right star, to be poetic.”
“We did the right thing though? I mean if they knew what he was and wanted him anyways… should we have let him go?”
“No. Absolutely not. Just because a vocal minority is shouting for something doesn’t mean its right. It just means it’s popular. There were a lot of things that we know look back on with shame and disgust that were wildly popular in their day, doesn’t make them any less wrong. Even if people never realize we saved them from something here today, doesn’t mean we shouldn’t have done it.” Ted smiled, “I mean look at you. You’re from the future, how did you look back on people from this time?”
Booster laughed, “I didn’t do a lot of retrospection in my day, mostly looking for a way to get ahead in life. Usually taking short cuts and playing to the largest margin. I guess that just makes me like him not a great sign for the future.” Booster shrugged.
“I think you’re wrong about that.” Ted smiled putting a hand on his shoulder, “And hey if you are stuck in the past, at least you’ve got me.” He winked.
“At least there’s that.” Booster smiled.
END
“Honey I’m home!” Booster shouted sunnily.
“Never stops being funny buddy.” Ted sighed not looking away from the television.
“Hey could you help me with these?” Booster asked purposefully rustling the many groceries he carried.
“Yeah sorry I was just watching the recap of Superman’s recent battle against the…” But the words died in Ted Kord’s throat as he stood and turned to help his friend only to see him in full costume.
“You went to the store like that?”
“Yeah really helps speeds things along.” Booster laughed with a smug nod.
“How on Earth does it… You know what? Never mind.” Ted said sternly but his face betrayed his clear amusement.
“So never mind Supes’ leftovers any threats or daring do left for us?” Booster smiled opening their fridge.
“No.” Ted sighed again, “I thought maybe I saw Hector Hammond at work but it was just some guy with a big head.”
“How was the genius bar today?”
“Filled with idiots.” Ted deadpanned, “How was the museum?”
“Fine… though I wish someone would actually try to steal something, it’s getting a little boring. Oh! But you know that guy who always talks about the art?”
“The guide.”
“Right. I think I’m starting to understand what he’s talking about.”
“I’ve never been more proud.”
“You and me both sir.” Skeets beeped suddenly from behind them, causing both men to jump slightly.
“Skeets damn it all, I’ve told you to make a noise as you enter a room. Hum, count, sing a few bars of Copacabana… something!” Booster shrieked.
“I just thought it might be wise if you look at the television sirs.” The machine said wearily. Both men turned towards the TV: the face of a vaguely familiar man plastered across it.
“This just in: Cain Navarro may have some competition for the Republican nomination in the upcoming presidential election as Martin “Funky” Flashman née Fleischmann has joined the race. Flashman is most known for his criminal conviction in connection with the supervillain cell known as the Secret Society of Supervillains, prior to that he was the publicist for the lesser known superhero ‘Mister Miracle’. Flashman has said that his time with both villains and heroes has informed his approach to super crime and he aims to ‘Make the Multiverse Great Again’. More at 11.”
As the newscaster went back to talking about possibly contaminated foods you should be on the lookout for (without actually telling you which foods they are) the three of them stood in stunned silence that was finally broken by Booster:
“What the actual f—”
ALL-STAR COMICS
“Don’t Believe the Hype”
By Dan Dolan
“…and that should put the rumors of my small feet to rest!” Funky Flashman mugged for the cameraman with vulgar grin.
“And his shoes are back on, I repeat his shoes are back on.” William Houseroy, Mister Flashman’s personal assistant sighed into the communicator in his ear. The put upon toady stood behind the would-be president in his somewhat small office, adjacent to Flashman’s exaggerated cartoonishly giant desk.
“Mister Flashman!” A member of the press yelled out.
“Yes, you in the short skirt. Though it could be shorter right guys?” Funky mugged for the cameras and was met with awkward looks a smattering of forced laughs.
“Uh yes. Well, Senator Finch has accused you of being the Queen Bee’s “drone”. Implying your rumored debt and/or improper connection to the Bialyan dictator? How do you respond to that?”
“Old Crooked June? Eh? She’s the drone! She drone!” Flashman lashed out, his face going inward almost, all scrunched and child-like.
“I think too much airtime has gone to Senator Finch’s nasty comments and not enough attention has been paid to her assistant’s emails with a senator known to associate with associates of Lex Luthor.” Houseroy said, stepping forward before stepping back again and nodding a clearly rattled Flashman.
“This is the country of Superman, we’ve got to start acting like it! We’ve got a woman running for president who belongs in Blackgate! Lock her up!” Flashman shouted with gusto as he made several emphatic and vaguely vulgar gestures for the cameras.
“Get that on a T-shirt stat.” Houseroy buzzed into his earcom.
“I know Superman!” Booster Gold shouted overconfidently as he stormed into the room, Blue Beetle and Skeets somewhat more casually following in behind him, “and you sir are no Superman.”
The reporters buzzed around the three of them.
“Hey look over here.” One cameraman shouted, practically right in Blue Beetle’s face.
“Calm down citizens.” Booster said dramatically.
“Stay in your lane Michael.” Ted patted his shoulder.
“Are you new superheroes?” One shouted out.
“Have you come to endorse Flashman for president? What is your stance on the election?”
Booster rounded on this reporter.
“No we most definitely have not come to endorse this man! And… wait new?” Booster started strong but his voice faltering as a hurt look crossed his face.
“That’s not important right now.” Ted said laying a hand on his shoulder.
“Ladies and gentlemen of the press.” Houseroy smiled and stood forward, “We’d like to thank these new vigilantes for their support and we hope to return it, we’ll have to see how they do in a real situation right?” He laughed, quickly joined by many members of the press.
“Wait no.” Booster started.
“This man is a criminal, which is why we’re here.” Ted reiterated firmly.
“What crime are you accusing him of?” A reporter shouted back.
“He…” Ted started but was quickly interrupted.
“State your codename for the record.”
Ted sighed loudly.
“Blue Beetle. This man was involved with at least one iteration of the Secret Society of Supervillains, he has been convicted of embezzlement, and he is a con-artist and an extortionist.”
This was met with blank looks.
“And?” A reporter asked, motioning for him to go on.
“AND?!” Booster shouted back.
“Booster Gold.” Skeets interjected preemptively, with not a small amount of sarcasm in his technological voice.
“Yes any new crimes?”
“Of course not.” Flashman laughed, “They’re just jealous. Sad.”
“While we here at the Flashman campaign appreciate these new vigilantes’ initiative in coming here. Perhaps their enthusiasm is getting the better of them, once they get more experience at the “hero game” they may feel more comfortable attempting to apprehend actual criminals not those who have already paid their debt to society.” Houseroy crossed his arms.
“We do appreciate your support!” Flashman beamed, suddenly right next to Booster roughly grabbing his hand in a weirdly aggressive handshake as the flash of a camera went off.
# # # # # # # # # #
“That could’ve gone better.” Ted said watching the heavily edited footage of Booster, himself and Skeets at the press conference now playing as a Flashman for President campaign ad.
“I can’t believe this is happening.” Booster groaned.
“I would get used to it, if I were you.” Skeets beeped flatly, “His poll numbers are through the roof. People are definitely buying what he’s selling.”
“What he’s selling? He barely spoke.” Ted sighed again. He was sighing more than talking these days, “He acted like a child, he screamed, he made vulgar comments… I mean why are we still having this conversation? I feel like I’m going crazy, why is this being allowed to happen?” Ted rambled literally
“Because people are talking about it.” Booster said slowly.
“What?”
“If I know anything it’s publicity and fame or infamy as the case may be.” Booster said suddenly energized, “He’s getting people talking about all the wrong things!”
“So what should we be talking about?” Ted asked.
“Skeets. What was that thing they asked him while we were waiting in the hallway listening for a cool line to enter on?”
“A reporter made in an inquiry into his reaction the likely Democratic nominee, Senator June Finch’s talking point early in the week implying he is a under the thrall of the Queen Bee of Bialya.”
Booster and Beetle looked at each other as smiles slowly grew on their faces.
# # # # # # # # # #
“Thank you so much Abdul, I’m so glad you’re still alive.” Booster smiled, phone in one hand throwing Blue Beetle a thumbs up with the other.
“We met him during our Justice League International days.” Ted said with a smug smile.
“Yes I know…” Skeets beeped.
“Bialya is somewhat infamous for politicians having short shelf-life is all I’m saying.” Booster said suddenly seemingly losing track of the conversation. Ted’s smile faltered and he quickly motioned for Booster to wrap it up.
“Yes okay. Yes I will. I will. No, really I will. Okay just send it.” Booster began to pace but soon enough an electronic beep wrung out that for once wasn’t just Skeets being rude. The three turned toward their fax machine as several papers rolled in.
“Yes!” Ted shouted.
“Okay goodbye Abdul and remember if someone wants to be leader of Bialya… yes that’s right just let them have it. They’ll be gone in a week anyhow. Goodbye my friend and thank you.” He said finally hanging up the phone, “Oh my God that man is a talker.” Booster sighed.
“We got it that’s all that matters.”
“What is it we have?” Skeets asked.
“Well there’s always a paper trail.” Ted said regaining his still fragile smile, “Most of Flashman’s campaign donations have been coming from a shell corporation owned by Bialyan nationals. Our old friend Abdul from…”
“When we went undercover in Bialya with the Justice League” All three said together with varying degrees of sincerity.
“Yes, well” Ted continued, “Is still on the inside surprisingly answering to a ‘King Bee?’ I mean seriously who thought that name was a good idea? Get an original thought people…”
“Ted.” Booster snapped though not unkindly.
“Right. He said he may get hanged for this but he felt we owed him one and he asked us to contact the current League to see if they could head over there for a bit and see what they can do about all the terror and what not and long story short…”
“Too late.” Booster and Skeets said at once.
“He sent us the records of the bribes, who’s been laundering them and proof that they come from King Bee himself who is considered a dictator in the world at large.”
“This could work.” Skeets beeped.
“You sound surprised?” Ted asked.
“Well… Michael is the one that came up with the idea.” Skeets followed, Ted thought about this then smiled.
“I know right?”
Both Beetle and the small robot broke into laughter.
“Well see there Michael?” Skeets chirped, “It’s always better to do the research then going in halfcocked.” He motioned to the monitors still playing the campaign ad in which Booster featured.
“Well I hate to say it but you’re right Skeets.” Booster smiled.
“You hate to say it?” Skeets asked quietly but was ignored.
“Yes well done Booster. So what’s our next move?” Ted asked.
“We go get him!” Booster ran out of the room.
“It’s like I’m speaking Tamaranean.” Skeets said gloomily.
# # # # # # # # # #
The Flashman rally in the heart of Metropolis was just as flashy as the name implicates. Just as crazy and overstimulating as it was possible to be without it being New Year’s Eve or involving fake wrestling for entertainment.
“We need to focus on America first!” Flashman yelled from the podium, “Look at the illegal aliens pouring into this country. Starfire, Beast Boy, Martian Man-Hunter? Look at that name! He hunts men, it says it right there.”
The crowd cheered.
“When I see Superman, the best our country has to offer shaking hands with that green skinned monster I just want to vomit.”
“You and me both pal… for different reasons.” Booster mumbled to himself as he, Ted and Skeets lurked in the shadows of a nearby alley.
“We realize that there’s at least a 95% chance we’ll be used in another ad for this guy we don’t actually get him on something right?” Ted looked around anxiously.
“I know.” Booster sighed.
“Does he know that Beast Boy isn’t an alien and Superman is?” Skeets beeped.
“I think the list of things he does know would probably be smaller.” Ted glowered.
Up on the stage Flashman was finished rambling on about the dangers of extraterrestrials and began to move on to how the Justice League needed to start winning again. Once more Houseroy stood right by him, talking into his ever present ear set.
“Okay he’s confused himself, let’s move in before he tries to overcompensate by describing his sex life again.” Booster said motioning for them to follow him. Booster let of a harmless light flash from his palm which successfully not only got the crowds’ attention and got them to move aside so they could make their way to the stage. Booster ran for it while Ted and Skeets moved forward at a calmer saner pace.
“This should be good: they’re back.” Houseroy mumbled with a roll of his eyes.
“In closing, I want to thank you all for coming out to see me. This is easily the biggest crowd any presidential nominee has ever had!” Flashman shouted, as unaware as ever, throwing what appeared to be am overly fratty combination of the thumbs up and finger guns.
“Not if I have anything to say about it!” Booster said suddenly as the small group burst on to the stage.
“What?” A woman aggressively holding a baby towards Funky Flashman asked, her manic glee quickly turning to bewilderment.
“I don’t know, I was really out of breath and didn’t really catch what he just said.” Booster said leaning forward with his hands on his knees.
“Ladies and gentlemen.” Houseroy said haughtily, stepping forward, “We’d like to thank our staff superheroes for finally making an appearance. Give them a hand!” He clapped, the crowd soon joining in.
“Booster stop waving.” Ted scowled as he and Skeets joined him on stage.
“Sorry, they were applauding… it’s a reflex.”
“We’re here for a reason.” Ted said turning to the crowd, “You sir.” he said pointing to Flashman, “Are an agent of the King Bee of Bialya!”
“That is ridiculous.” Funky sneered, playing to the crowd with a laugh.
“Tell that to the video-tape.” Booster shouted pointing to Skeets, when nothing happened he turned to see the robot posing for a picture with one of Flashman’s supporters.
“Booster! We have the records… no one said anything about a video tape.” Ted said making a cut it out gesture across his throat.
“How embarrassing.” Houseroy laughed.
“Sad.” Flashman agreed.
“We’re simply here to make sure that due process occurs without any chance for evasion.”
“What?” Flashman asked looking to Houseroy.
“What too many big words?” Booster laughed, “Maybe you’d like a visual aid.”
Sure enough a serious looking woman in a well-worn suit soon stormed onto the stage, flashing a badge as she did so, flanked by two uniformed police officers.
“Martin Flashman.” She said intensely, “You are going to have to come with us.”
“What is this?” Houseroy snapped moving to stand in front of his boss.
“Mister Flashman is wanted for questioning in connection to a money laundering operation that has recently been brought to our attention.” She explained.
“Our?” Houseroy asked more desperately, seemingly trying to stall.
“Caroline Quillian, FBI. But I’m sure when I’m through with him, you’ll get to meet plenty of new people as he’s also been asked about by our pals at Homeland Security, CIA and even Checkmate. Lucky him… he really is famous.” She smirked as the two officers moved around Houseroy to place handcuffs on Funky as he continued smiling for photos while they led him out.
“Justice!” Booster shouted throwing up his hands excitedly only to be almost immediately hit in the head by a nearly full plastic cup of beer. The first shot out of the way the entire team found themselves under a barrage of food and drink and a wave of jeers erupted from the crowd.
“Alright we may want to focus on speed rather than dramatics for our exit.” Skeets beeped.
“What is wrong with you people???” Booster shouted as Ted tried to pull him back.
“I’d say a rampant feeling of personal insecurity, inferiority complexes and fragile male egos.” Ted snapped looking out at the crowd, “But let’s dive into that later shall we?!?!” he said attempting to heard the other two as a cheeseburger just barely missed his head.
“Another job well done.” Skeets sighed.
# # # # # # # # # #
Back at the apartment, well after midnight, Booster couldn’t sleep. Ted, having some trouble in that department himself, found the blond man curled up in the sofa by the TV, looking like a kicked pup. As the Blue Beetle neared his friend he saw that the News was on, most of the reports on the various screens were covering protests and some riots, driven by angry Flashman supporters.
“Hey bud, what’s up?” Ted asked, sitting down next to his friend.
“I just… I don’t get how they could be upset that we stopped someone like that from becoming he most powerful man in America.”
“People… people don’t always know what they want. They think they do, they hope they do… they pick something and put all their hopes and dreams on it and sometimes they don’t even realize what they’re picking. It’s all luck and chance in the end. You hope you’re aiming at the right star, to be poetic.”
“We did the right thing though? I mean if they knew what he was and wanted him anyways… should we have let him go?”
“No. Absolutely not. Just because a vocal minority is shouting for something doesn’t mean its right. It just means it’s popular. There were a lot of things that we know look back on with shame and disgust that were wildly popular in their day, doesn’t make them any less wrong. Even if people never realize we saved them from something here today, doesn’t mean we shouldn’t have done it.” Ted smiled, “I mean look at you. You’re from the future, how did you look back on people from this time?”
Booster laughed, “I didn’t do a lot of retrospection in my day, mostly looking for a way to get ahead in life. Usually taking short cuts and playing to the largest margin. I guess that just makes me like him not a great sign for the future.” Booster shrugged.
“I think you’re wrong about that.” Ted smiled putting a hand on his shoulder, “And hey if you are stuck in the past, at least you’ve got me.” He winked.
“At least there’s that.” Booster smiled.
END