Previously: Following a cosmic disaster, Danny the street scooped up various members of the Doom Patrol, forming a rag-tag team from across the team’s long, strange history.
While they are trying to figure out what their place is, on the team, as well as in the wider world, they are also trying to deal with their new, mobile headquarters.
Something is wrong with Danny the street and he is drifting around the world without rhyme or obvious reason.
Now, half the Patrol have been stranded in New Orleans, while the rest have just arrived in rural China…
“Damnit…!” Negative man breathed. “What else can happen…?”
“Not to add to your troubles,” The gorilla standing next to him said matter of factly. “But, I believe that cloud of dust on the top of the hill is the Chinese army, headed our way.”
“Okay, we can deal with this,” Larry Trainor said, more to himself than the crowd gathering around him and unsure if he was convincing either. “Let me think…”
He turned away from the rural Chinese village Danny had taken them to and peered, past the dozen people milling around and wandering the length of the sentient street. “Really could use some help here…be nice if Cliff wasn’t catatonic or the Chief was his old mad scientist, know it all self…”
He began to pace, pushing his way through the crowd. He glanced over at the Caffeine Deim, distressed that even the teams’ resident super powered barista wasn’t around to give him advice, and turned back to the crowd.
A super intelligent gorilla, assorted homeless folk and Chris, assistant manager at the coffee shop looked back at him.
“Not exactly the Justice League…” Larry muttered to himself, before taking a deep breath and getting ready to convince them he knew what he was doing.
“Not much time to sort this out before a whole bunch of anxious and heavily armed people arrive,” He said, thinking if he talked fast, no one would have time to question his very shaky plan. “I need you guys to go, get every one without a super power off the street. Get them inside and safe. Mallah, keep an eye on the natives and give a shout when the army arrives.”
Mallah nodded in skeptical agreement.
“Okay,” Larry nodded to himself. “What we need is…”
“Hey! Larry!” Papercut the team’s unofficial trainee yelled. The young ex-super villain came jogging up. “I dropped off Robot man…and…whoa…are we in China?”
“Yeah, look, we need to…” Negative man started.
“I…um…think I maybe found what’s messing with Danny,” Papercut interrupted, still staring off into the distance. “You need to come with me. I can show you…”
“Kid, the Chinese army is on their way here and most of the Patrol got left in New Orleans, so…”
“So, you shouldn’t be wasting time treating me like an idiot!” The young super villain snapped. “I get that I’m barely a mascot, but this might help, so talk down to me while we go!”
Larry let himself be dragged along, while Papercut gave a breathless explanation.
“See, I took your advice and have been going ‘on patrol’ around Danny. Helping people when I could…you know, new people need a place to stay, breaking up any fights, that kind of stuff, but I also talked to people…trying to see if I could figure out why things have been so…uh…weird…here we are…!”
He ducked down a narrow alley between the record store and the florist. Larry turned sideways to squeeze through.
Behind the row of buildings was a drab brick wall and a light scattering of trash and debris.
Two people were waiting there. One was an older man with a wispy beard and glasses, wearing a white coverall. He was leaning on a heavy wooden push broom. The other was a young kid who looked like a newsboy from a 30’s movie, complete with, over the shoulder canvas bag, cap and an over-sized sweater.
“These guys have been helping me,” Papercut explained. “Drake….”
The man with the broom nodded in greeting.
“And Legion.”
“The paper boys’ name is…yeah, I’ll worry about it later,” Larry muttered. “So, why am I here?”
“Down there,” Papercut said, pointing at a spot on the brick wall, close to the ground.
“What?” The bandage wrapped hero snapped. “Look, the Chinese army is on our doorstep! Just tell me!”
“Fine…!” Papercut fumed, and knelt down. He pointed at an empty space in a row of bricks. “There’s a brick missing.”
“That’s it…?” Larry exclaimed, looking at the trio. “You dragged me here, knowing what’s happening…?”
“What’re you? Thick?” Legion asked. “It didn’t just fall out, there’s marks around the hole. Somebody took it!”
“Seriously…?” Larry muttered, starting to see, but having trouble processing this new idea with all the other things that had been dumped on him lately. “Danny is acting weird because someone stole a brick…?”
“Aside from that weird…thing…you know,” Papercut explained. “Where reality…kind of blinked out, the only other thing to happen to Danny is this missing brick!”
“Okay,” Larry sighed, rubbing his linen-wrapped chin in thought. “Makes as much sense as anything…how do we find it…?”
“Retrace where Danny’s been,” The street sweeper commented. “Maybe you can figure out where and when the thief jumped off…?”
“Which means we’re back where we started. We need to get Danny to talk to us again,” Larry said. “Aside from Kate, nobody was having much luck with that…?”
He trailed off, looking into the distance for a couple seconds, before turning his gaze back to the trio.
“Maybe we can make it work, but…damnit, we need more time! We just don’t have time…!”
Negative man closed his eyes and pinched at the bridge of his nose.
“We can help,” Drake said.
“There’s a street full of people who could help.” Papercut reminded him quietly.
“Okay,” Larry said, opening his eyes and nodding. “Let’s do this.”
The two heroes hurried back through the alley and to the end of the street.
Mallah and an assortment of residents were keeping an eye on the approaching cloud of dust. Larry noticed that several Chinese villagers seemed to have joined the crowd.
“How’s it looking?” He asked.
Mallah gave him a skeptical frown.
“I doubt we have half an hour before they are here.” The gorilla said, gruffly. “Hard to tell how many at this distance. You might want to send out Negative man to scout.”
“Probably a good idea. Catch me.”
As his body sagged, a figure like a shadow made solid flew away at the speed of thought, crackling with energy and zoomed over the small farming village.
It was back within seconds.
“Yeah, not good.” Larry said, sitting up abruptly, and letting Mallah help him back to his feet. “Three tanks, five trucks full of soldiers. Only bright spot is no sign of planes or helicopters. We need to get ready!”
“I’ve put the word out for everybody to get indoors,” Papercut said. “Not sure how I’ll do against a tank…?”
“So, you are in charge of keeping an eye on people,” Larry told the ex-super villain. “Might want to see if you can send out your little paper birds. Maybe that missing brick is still here and just needs to be replaced…I doubt we’ll be that lucky, but who knows…”
He then turned to the crowd.
“Okay, if you don’t have super powers or access to massive weapons, go home! Get off the street until we figure this out!” He announced.
As the crowd dispersed, Cory, the guy that ran the comic shop came jogging up.
“I don’t…uh…don’t have super powers, but I got this and was…um…told to give it to you if there was an emergency.” He said, handing Larry a comic book. “This seems to count…”
“Seriously? “My Greenest Adventure”…?” Larry muttered.
He flipped it open; half convinced it must be a joke, until the hand reached out of the comic book page towards him.
“What the hell…!” He gasped, dropping the comic.
It landed on the street, still opened, and the hand then became a full arm, a bare, muscular arm wearing only a black wristband. It reached around blindly for several seconds before bracing itself against the sidewalk. A second arm and then a head soon emerged and a pair of muscular shoulders followed.
To everyone’s stunned amazement, the man then squeezed himself up out of the comic book and stood hands on hips, large as life, facing the members of the Doom Patrol.
He was clean-shaven with short-cropped hair and ruggedly good-looking features. His smile was open and friendly. He was dressed only in a pair of leopard skin shorts, heavy boots and his wristbands.
“Holy crap!” Papercut exclaimed.
“Hey, now,” The muscular new arrival said. “ No need for that kind of language, friend.”
“Flex Mentallo…?” Larry breathed.
“At your service! Here to lend some mystery muscle to whatever problem you folks are facing!”
He offered Negative man a hand.
“Say, didn’t you used to dress all in green?” Flex asked, shaking Larry’s bandage wrapped hand firmly and vigorously.
“Um…yeah, sort of…it’s complicated.” Larry muttered, blinking and trying to arrange his thoughts. “Um…you’re really here…?”
“Large as life and twice as courteous,” Flex nodded. “Had to go back and lend a hand on my own earth when reality got all wonky, but I arranged with Danny for a way to get in touch if you ever needed me. So, what seems to be the trouble?”
“Danny’s incapacitated and the Chinese army will be here within minutes,” Mallah explained, impatient with all the chitchat.
“Whoa, you are very chatty for a gorilla!” Flex said, surprised. “Where do you need me?”
“Help Mallah, I guess,” Larry said, gesturing at his simian teammate. “Hold off the soldiers as long as you can. Papercut, see if you can find that missing brick. I’m going to see somebody who might be able to help get us Danny’s attention. Back as soon as I can.”
# # # # #
Interlude 1: New Orleans
A pair of women sat on a bench. They had the slumped shoulders, and weary frowns of those that had either stayed too long or over partied.
Rita Farr sighed, and pulled one of her purple gloves out of her belt. She’d had to remove them when she and her friends were fingerprinted, following their arrest. She used it to wipe her sweating forehead and the back of her neck.
“I can’t believe they arrested us!” She protested. “They didn’t believe we’re super heroes!”
“Well, in their defense,” Bast the alien cat goddess said. “Neither Kate nor I look like super heroes and most people seem to think the Doom Patrol is dead. I’m more concerned with where Danny went.”
“Yes, that worries me too. We couldn’t find Larry or Mallah, so they must be with him…whenever Danny is,” Rita shrugged. “I need some air conditioning. No sleep and the heat…can’t get my arms and legs the same length…”
“Here comes Kate,” Bast said, smiling.
The teams’ resident super powered, transgendered barista exited the police station and quickly made her way across the street to her friends.
“That was fun,” She frowned, squeezing in between her teammates. “We are cleared, as all those guys have records, while we’re all squeaky clean.”*
(Kate is referring to the team of super villains the ladies fought last issue- Trav)
Bast nodded absently, as the long day was catching up on her. She leaned her cathead against Kate’s shoulder.
“The big question is: what now?” Kate asked, leaning back. “We’ve got a little bit of money, but nowhere to go.”
“No luck finding Danny?” Rita asked.
“Nope. Wherever Danny is or whatever has happened it’s messing with cell service. I’ve tried the coffee shop, Larry’s building and the pay phone…nothing. We’re stuck until they come looking for us.”
“Couldn’t the Justice League help?” Bast asked. “They helped clear us with the police.”
“Yeah, but they seemed to do that more in the hope that we’d go and leave them alone.” Kate shrugged, then patted Bast’s arm to apologize for jostling her. “I need a drink…”
“Wait a minute,” Rita said quietly. “We might have some options. I seem to remember the Chief…not sure, which one…owned a building near here… Might just be a storage unit, but it’s a start…?”
“Why not?” Kate said. “Not like we have any better options and it beats sitting here moping. Can we get some po’ boys to go before we head out?”
# # # # #
Interlude 2: The far side of the cosmos
It drifts through space, plodding and relentless, scarred by a million meteorite strikes, oblivious as solar winds, cosmic rays and scanning beams of a hundred alien civilizations washed over it.
It takes no notice of the awesome, desolate beauty of the universe, blind to exquisite wonder, brutal warfare, life and death occurring on a cosmic scale.
It was capable of seeing only one thing, its eventual destination. An insignificant blue-green planet at the outer reaches of a tiny spiral galaxy.
It knows it only as a mark on a vast map of the universe, a set of coordinates. It neither knows nor cares that the indigenous life forms have named it ‘Earth’.
# # # # #
Interlude 3: deep in the bowels of a government faculty in Washington D. C.:
A blonde woman in a green pantsuit sat at her desk, deep in thought. She wouldn’t notice the cup of coffee until it had grown cold. All her attention was focused on the telephone pressed to her ear.
She listened to the repeated ‘berd’ noise it made as the party she wanted…no, needed to speak to declined to answer.
After 32 ‘berds’, she gave up and slammed the phone down in frustration.
“No luck, Colonel Vostok?”
“No, damnit,” She muttered, taking a sip of her coffee, her frowned deepened. “I don’t want to move on this, but we can’t wait on the Doom Patrol.”
A young woman handed her a few sheets of paper.
“Report in from an operative in New Orleans,” She told Val Vostok. “You might want to have a look at it.”
# # # # #
The movie theater only had a dozen occupants scattered around. Many rows were empty or were only occupied by one of two people.
The show was over and only one occupant still seemed interested in the blank, white screen. He sat alone in the center of one of the middle rows and stared at it intently.
He wore a yellow bodysuit with a small, black lightening bolt symbol on the chest, purple ankle boots, gloves and belt. His helmet resembled a WW1 soldiers’ helmet, except it seemed to be made out of a purple plastic, had a purple domino mask attached to it and there were two tiny lights protruding from the top. They blinked sporadically as he stared at the screen.
Larry Trainor plopped down in the seat next to him.
“Hey, Steve,” He said, struggling to sound casual. “ I hate to bug you when you’re busy being catatonic and drooling on yourself and I know I am one of your least favorite people to talk to but honestly, I am out of options and really need some help. So, I was hoping you and I could get past our problems and you could…um…could, well, let’s start with you acknowledging my presence, maybe…?”
The man in the mask and helmet continued to stare at the screen, his lips seemed to be faintly moving. There was no sign that he was aware of Negative man being there.
“Hey!” Larry shouted, snapping his fingers in front of the other mans’ face. “Mento! Come on, the Doom Patrol needs you!”
Steve Dayton, fifth richest man in the world, as well as the master of metal energy, Mento, stared straight ahead.
Negative man slumped in his chair. He looked around, unsure what his next step was. He spotted a half full tub of popcorn wedged into the seat next to him and helped himself to a handful.
“Yeah, should have figured this wouldn’t work,” He sighed while he chewed. “I just need something…anything to go right. Got a street full of people counting on me to get us through this. Can’t be expected to lead the Doom Patrol if I don’t actually have a team. Cliff’s even less responsive than you, the monkey hates me, the Chief just wants to fix VCRs and Kate and Rita are stuck in New Orleans…”
“Rita…” Mento breathed.
“What?” Larry exclaimed, leaning forward to peer into his estranged teammates’ face. Half convinced he’d imagined Mento responding. “Yeah, if we figure out how to help Danny, we could go find Rita. She…uh…she got left behind…”
“Rita…Rita needs me…?” Mento muttered, still staring straight ahead. “But, I need to stay. Stand watch…it’s out there…it’s coming…”
“What? What is?” Larry asked, confused and unsure if there was yet another menace he had to worry about or if his last resort for help had lost his grip on reality. “What are you doing, staring at the screen all the time?”
“It’ll find us…I have to be on guard…but, Rita…needs me…I’ve let her down…so much…. so many times before…”
Larry peered in confusion at Mento, now unsure if maybe more than a mental breakdown had happened to the man in the helmet and maybe he too had let a teammate down. He’d never really gotten along with Steve Dayton and been more than happy to leave him in the theater, while he concentrated on helping Cliff and Rita.
He was so caught up in his own thoughts that he didn’t notice when Mento turned his gaze away from the movie screen and towards him.
“What do you need me to do?” Mento asked.
The two heroes made their way back down the street, saw that the dust cloud was getting close enough that you could make out shapes and that Mallah’s estimate gave them minutes before the Chinese arrived.
Larry grabbed Mento’s arm and steered him down to the far end of the street.
“Where are we going?” Mento asked, taking in his surroundings with a detached curiosity.
“If we can ‘wake up’ Danny, then we don’t have to risk fighting the army,” Larry explained. “And I thought this would be a good spot…”
At the far end of the street was an old fashioned streetlight.
“It tends to light up to greet new arrivals,” The lined-wrapped hero said. “Rita said it reminded her of something out of the Narnia books…anyway I thought it might be a good place to try…”
“Hey!” Papercut called, jogging up. “No sign of the missing brick, but I think I got everyone inside…what’s going on? Isn’t he the guy from the movie theater…?”
“Yeah, long story,” Larry said, watching as Mento walked up to the lamppost and rested a gloved hand against it. The lights on his helmet began to pulse, like a heartbeat. “He has psychic powers and I’m hoping he can reach Danny.”
He casually held out the popcorn container.
Papercut shrugged, took a handful and absently munched while the duo stood and watched, unsure what was going to happen.
For several minutes, nothing seemed to happen, and then the lights on Mentos’ helmet began to flicker more rapidly.
Mento swallowed hard and his breathing got rougher, as though he was engaged in strenuous exercise. His shoulders slumped and he leaned forward till his helmet touched the streetlight. The lights began flashing even faster.
“Is something…?” Papercut asked, hesitantly.
“No idea,” Negative man shrugged.
Suddenly, Mento’s whole body went rigid and he seemed to be holding onto the street lamp for support. His eyes went wide and the lights on his helmet shown so bright Larry thought for a moment they might burst.
Mento lurched backwards, breathing in deep gulps of air. Papercut and Larry caught him before he fell and steered him to the nearest bench.
“So much…” Mento said, his lips barely moving. “Never…touched a mind like it…!”
“Is he okay?” Papercut asked, anxiously.
“Was he ever?” Negative man said. “Something happened…no idea what though…”
The two heroes stood anxiously studying the limp form of the master of mental energy.
Papercut scratched his head, realized they’d dropped the popcorn in their concern, patted his white jacket’s multiple pockets and took out half a roll of lifesavers. He glanced around idly, unsure what to do next.
“Um…what’s going on…?” He muttered, gesturing across the street.
“What now?” Larry asked, irritably.
Across the street the marquee of the movie theater suddenly lit up. As the lights brightly flashed and flickered the letters began to change as well. No longer did they list the times for showings of “Plan 9 from outer space” and “Fantasia”, now they simply read “Hello Sweetie.”
“Oh my god…!” Larry breathed, jogging over to the theater. “Danny’s back!”
The movie posters on either side of the door were still stylishly designed but instead of promoting coming attractions now read:
“Sorry, needed a lie down. What did I miss?” on one.
On the other: “felt a bit distressed after all that flitting about. Had the strangest dreams. Did we get a cat?”
“You sure Danny is okay?” Papercut asked, reading the posters.
“Yeah, he always talks like this. You get used to it.” Larry replied, before looking up to address the marquee. “It’s a long, weird story. Short version: Good to have you back. You’ve been bouncing all over the world in your…um… sleep. We left some people behind and are now stuck in China. Get us out of here then we can try and fix things. Okay?”
“Tell him about the brick.” Papercut suggested.
“Extra! Extra!” The newsboy shouted, as he ran up to them. He handed Larry a folded newspaper and then held his hand out for payment.
“Seriously, kid?” Larry said, as he unfolded the paper, it was the local paper the “Exquisite Times” He quickly read the headline “That might be a problem, dear.”
The rest of the front page read:
“Something went wrong during my nap and I’m still not feeling terribly fresh and productive. All the gallivanting about wasn’t planned on my part.
Continued on page seven…”
“Really…?” Larry asked irritably, getting ready to thumb through the pages.
“Look!” Papercut exclaimed. He pointed to a side article that read:
“Missing brick seems to be key to recent troubles.”
“Okay, things are better but not great.” Larry said, handing his teammate in the white jacket the paper. “Give it a look. You see anything we need to know give a shout. I’m going to join Mallah and Flex, buy us some time until Danny gets his act together.”
He ran off.
“What?” Papercut called after him. “What about Mento? Do I just leave him here?”
As Larry jogged along he noticed that Danny was using various signs and graffiti on the walls to communicate with him.
“Not playing coy, dear, just not feeling quite myself” In the record store window.
“Do the best I can, but some things you just can’t rush.” Spray-painted on a brick wall.
“Unfortunately, the Chinese army might not be in a patient mood,” Larry muttered as he ran.”
“I have faith in the Doom Patrol.” In sidewalk chalk in front of Kate’s coffee shop.
“Yeah, maybe it’s time I did too.” Larry said, not sure if he was still talking to Danny.
He soon joined Mallah and Flex Mentallo and the end of the street.
“Well?” The gorilla asked.
“I don’t know. Danny’s awake but not sure what he’s can do. We need to buy him some time.” Larry said, catching his breath.
An old fashioned taxi skidded to a halt and Papercut, Legion the newsboy, Mento and the driver, Hack O’ Hara scrambled out to join them.
“So, what’s the plan?” Papercut asked, watching as the military vehicles halted at the far end of the village and troops began to scramble out.
“Danny either whisks us away in the next five minutes,” Mallah said, drawing his guns and flicking the safeties off. “Or we most likely die here.”
“Can’t say I care much for that plan,” Flex said, cracking his knuckles and flexing his beefy arms.
“We got this,” Larry said, rolling his shoulders and then flexing his linen-wrapped hands, realizing that he meant it and despite the dire situation, that felt pretty good. “Come on guys, we’re the Doom Patrol.”
“Are we?” Mento asked.
“Damn right we are.” Larry said with a grim smile. “Who wants to help me take on an army?”
“Dibs on a tank,” Flex said, smacking his fist against his open palm. “Never fought a tank before.”
Papercut swallowed nervously then reached in to one of his many pockets and came out with two handfuls of paper stars.
“Okay,” He muttered, trying to keep his voice steady while he psyched himself up. “Yeah, why not? Let’s do this!”
“For you, big spender,” Legion said, handing Larry another newspaper. “Late edition.”
It read: “Boys, don’t you ever change! You might want to grab hold of something or at the very least click your heels. Back to Kansas, sweeties!”
“Everybody hold on!” Larry shouted right before reality lurched to the left and a flash of extra-dimensional light washed over the sentient street like a tidal wave…
To be continued…
Next issue: Okay, so you don’t get to see the Doom Patrol take on the Chinese army.
Sorry. Would it help you to forgive me if I told you we are going to learn the secret origin of Danny the street?
While they are trying to figure out what their place is, on the team, as well as in the wider world, they are also trying to deal with their new, mobile headquarters.
Something is wrong with Danny the street and he is drifting around the world without rhyme or obvious reason.
Now, half the Patrol have been stranded in New Orleans, while the rest have just arrived in rural China…
“Damnit…!” Negative man breathed. “What else can happen…?”
“Not to add to your troubles,” The gorilla standing next to him said matter of factly. “But, I believe that cloud of dust on the top of the hill is the Chinese army, headed our way.”
“Okay, we can deal with this,” Larry Trainor said, more to himself than the crowd gathering around him and unsure if he was convincing either. “Let me think…”
He turned away from the rural Chinese village Danny had taken them to and peered, past the dozen people milling around and wandering the length of the sentient street. “Really could use some help here…be nice if Cliff wasn’t catatonic or the Chief was his old mad scientist, know it all self…”
He began to pace, pushing his way through the crowd. He glanced over at the Caffeine Deim, distressed that even the teams’ resident super powered barista wasn’t around to give him advice, and turned back to the crowd.
A super intelligent gorilla, assorted homeless folk and Chris, assistant manager at the coffee shop looked back at him.
“Not exactly the Justice League…” Larry muttered to himself, before taking a deep breath and getting ready to convince them he knew what he was doing.
“Not much time to sort this out before a whole bunch of anxious and heavily armed people arrive,” He said, thinking if he talked fast, no one would have time to question his very shaky plan. “I need you guys to go, get every one without a super power off the street. Get them inside and safe. Mallah, keep an eye on the natives and give a shout when the army arrives.”
Mallah nodded in skeptical agreement.
“Okay,” Larry nodded to himself. “What we need is…”
“Hey! Larry!” Papercut the team’s unofficial trainee yelled. The young ex-super villain came jogging up. “I dropped off Robot man…and…whoa…are we in China?”
“Yeah, look, we need to…” Negative man started.
“I…um…think I maybe found what’s messing with Danny,” Papercut interrupted, still staring off into the distance. “You need to come with me. I can show you…”
“Kid, the Chinese army is on their way here and most of the Patrol got left in New Orleans, so…”
“So, you shouldn’t be wasting time treating me like an idiot!” The young super villain snapped. “I get that I’m barely a mascot, but this might help, so talk down to me while we go!”
Larry let himself be dragged along, while Papercut gave a breathless explanation.
“See, I took your advice and have been going ‘on patrol’ around Danny. Helping people when I could…you know, new people need a place to stay, breaking up any fights, that kind of stuff, but I also talked to people…trying to see if I could figure out why things have been so…uh…weird…here we are…!”
He ducked down a narrow alley between the record store and the florist. Larry turned sideways to squeeze through.
Behind the row of buildings was a drab brick wall and a light scattering of trash and debris.
Two people were waiting there. One was an older man with a wispy beard and glasses, wearing a white coverall. He was leaning on a heavy wooden push broom. The other was a young kid who looked like a newsboy from a 30’s movie, complete with, over the shoulder canvas bag, cap and an over-sized sweater.
“These guys have been helping me,” Papercut explained. “Drake….”
The man with the broom nodded in greeting.
“And Legion.”
“The paper boys’ name is…yeah, I’ll worry about it later,” Larry muttered. “So, why am I here?”
“Down there,” Papercut said, pointing at a spot on the brick wall, close to the ground.
“What?” The bandage wrapped hero snapped. “Look, the Chinese army is on our doorstep! Just tell me!”
“Fine…!” Papercut fumed, and knelt down. He pointed at an empty space in a row of bricks. “There’s a brick missing.”
“That’s it…?” Larry exclaimed, looking at the trio. “You dragged me here, knowing what’s happening…?”
“What’re you? Thick?” Legion asked. “It didn’t just fall out, there’s marks around the hole. Somebody took it!”
“Seriously…?” Larry muttered, starting to see, but having trouble processing this new idea with all the other things that had been dumped on him lately. “Danny is acting weird because someone stole a brick…?”
“Aside from that weird…thing…you know,” Papercut explained. “Where reality…kind of blinked out, the only other thing to happen to Danny is this missing brick!”
“Okay,” Larry sighed, rubbing his linen-wrapped chin in thought. “Makes as much sense as anything…how do we find it…?”
“Retrace where Danny’s been,” The street sweeper commented. “Maybe you can figure out where and when the thief jumped off…?”
“Which means we’re back where we started. We need to get Danny to talk to us again,” Larry said. “Aside from Kate, nobody was having much luck with that…?”
He trailed off, looking into the distance for a couple seconds, before turning his gaze back to the trio.
“Maybe we can make it work, but…damnit, we need more time! We just don’t have time…!”
Negative man closed his eyes and pinched at the bridge of his nose.
“We can help,” Drake said.
“There’s a street full of people who could help.” Papercut reminded him quietly.
“Okay,” Larry said, opening his eyes and nodding. “Let’s do this.”
The two heroes hurried back through the alley and to the end of the street.
Mallah and an assortment of residents were keeping an eye on the approaching cloud of dust. Larry noticed that several Chinese villagers seemed to have joined the crowd.
“How’s it looking?” He asked.
Mallah gave him a skeptical frown.
“I doubt we have half an hour before they are here.” The gorilla said, gruffly. “Hard to tell how many at this distance. You might want to send out Negative man to scout.”
“Probably a good idea. Catch me.”
As his body sagged, a figure like a shadow made solid flew away at the speed of thought, crackling with energy and zoomed over the small farming village.
It was back within seconds.
“Yeah, not good.” Larry said, sitting up abruptly, and letting Mallah help him back to his feet. “Three tanks, five trucks full of soldiers. Only bright spot is no sign of planes or helicopters. We need to get ready!”
“I’ve put the word out for everybody to get indoors,” Papercut said. “Not sure how I’ll do against a tank…?”
“So, you are in charge of keeping an eye on people,” Larry told the ex-super villain. “Might want to see if you can send out your little paper birds. Maybe that missing brick is still here and just needs to be replaced…I doubt we’ll be that lucky, but who knows…”
He then turned to the crowd.
“Okay, if you don’t have super powers or access to massive weapons, go home! Get off the street until we figure this out!” He announced.
As the crowd dispersed, Cory, the guy that ran the comic shop came jogging up.
“I don’t…uh…don’t have super powers, but I got this and was…um…told to give it to you if there was an emergency.” He said, handing Larry a comic book. “This seems to count…”
“Seriously? “My Greenest Adventure”…?” Larry muttered.
He flipped it open; half convinced it must be a joke, until the hand reached out of the comic book page towards him.
“What the hell…!” He gasped, dropping the comic.
It landed on the street, still opened, and the hand then became a full arm, a bare, muscular arm wearing only a black wristband. It reached around blindly for several seconds before bracing itself against the sidewalk. A second arm and then a head soon emerged and a pair of muscular shoulders followed.
To everyone’s stunned amazement, the man then squeezed himself up out of the comic book and stood hands on hips, large as life, facing the members of the Doom Patrol.
He was clean-shaven with short-cropped hair and ruggedly good-looking features. His smile was open and friendly. He was dressed only in a pair of leopard skin shorts, heavy boots and his wristbands.
“Holy crap!” Papercut exclaimed.
“Hey, now,” The muscular new arrival said. “ No need for that kind of language, friend.”
“Flex Mentallo…?” Larry breathed.
“At your service! Here to lend some mystery muscle to whatever problem you folks are facing!”
He offered Negative man a hand.
“Say, didn’t you used to dress all in green?” Flex asked, shaking Larry’s bandage wrapped hand firmly and vigorously.
“Um…yeah, sort of…it’s complicated.” Larry muttered, blinking and trying to arrange his thoughts. “Um…you’re really here…?”
“Large as life and twice as courteous,” Flex nodded. “Had to go back and lend a hand on my own earth when reality got all wonky, but I arranged with Danny for a way to get in touch if you ever needed me. So, what seems to be the trouble?”
“Danny’s incapacitated and the Chinese army will be here within minutes,” Mallah explained, impatient with all the chitchat.
“Whoa, you are very chatty for a gorilla!” Flex said, surprised. “Where do you need me?”
“Help Mallah, I guess,” Larry said, gesturing at his simian teammate. “Hold off the soldiers as long as you can. Papercut, see if you can find that missing brick. I’m going to see somebody who might be able to help get us Danny’s attention. Back as soon as I can.”
# # # # #
Interlude 1: New Orleans
A pair of women sat on a bench. They had the slumped shoulders, and weary frowns of those that had either stayed too long or over partied.
Rita Farr sighed, and pulled one of her purple gloves out of her belt. She’d had to remove them when she and her friends were fingerprinted, following their arrest. She used it to wipe her sweating forehead and the back of her neck.
“I can’t believe they arrested us!” She protested. “They didn’t believe we’re super heroes!”
“Well, in their defense,” Bast the alien cat goddess said. “Neither Kate nor I look like super heroes and most people seem to think the Doom Patrol is dead. I’m more concerned with where Danny went.”
“Yes, that worries me too. We couldn’t find Larry or Mallah, so they must be with him…whenever Danny is,” Rita shrugged. “I need some air conditioning. No sleep and the heat…can’t get my arms and legs the same length…”
“Here comes Kate,” Bast said, smiling.
The teams’ resident super powered, transgendered barista exited the police station and quickly made her way across the street to her friends.
“That was fun,” She frowned, squeezing in between her teammates. “We are cleared, as all those guys have records, while we’re all squeaky clean.”*
(Kate is referring to the team of super villains the ladies fought last issue- Trav)
Bast nodded absently, as the long day was catching up on her. She leaned her cathead against Kate’s shoulder.
“The big question is: what now?” Kate asked, leaning back. “We’ve got a little bit of money, but nowhere to go.”
“No luck finding Danny?” Rita asked.
“Nope. Wherever Danny is or whatever has happened it’s messing with cell service. I’ve tried the coffee shop, Larry’s building and the pay phone…nothing. We’re stuck until they come looking for us.”
“Couldn’t the Justice League help?” Bast asked. “They helped clear us with the police.”
“Yeah, but they seemed to do that more in the hope that we’d go and leave them alone.” Kate shrugged, then patted Bast’s arm to apologize for jostling her. “I need a drink…”
“Wait a minute,” Rita said quietly. “We might have some options. I seem to remember the Chief…not sure, which one…owned a building near here… Might just be a storage unit, but it’s a start…?”
“Why not?” Kate said. “Not like we have any better options and it beats sitting here moping. Can we get some po’ boys to go before we head out?”
# # # # #
Interlude 2: The far side of the cosmos
It drifts through space, plodding and relentless, scarred by a million meteorite strikes, oblivious as solar winds, cosmic rays and scanning beams of a hundred alien civilizations washed over it.
It takes no notice of the awesome, desolate beauty of the universe, blind to exquisite wonder, brutal warfare, life and death occurring on a cosmic scale.
It was capable of seeing only one thing, its eventual destination. An insignificant blue-green planet at the outer reaches of a tiny spiral galaxy.
It knows it only as a mark on a vast map of the universe, a set of coordinates. It neither knows nor cares that the indigenous life forms have named it ‘Earth’.
# # # # #
Interlude 3: deep in the bowels of a government faculty in Washington D. C.:
A blonde woman in a green pantsuit sat at her desk, deep in thought. She wouldn’t notice the cup of coffee until it had grown cold. All her attention was focused on the telephone pressed to her ear.
She listened to the repeated ‘berd’ noise it made as the party she wanted…no, needed to speak to declined to answer.
After 32 ‘berds’, she gave up and slammed the phone down in frustration.
“No luck, Colonel Vostok?”
“No, damnit,” She muttered, taking a sip of her coffee, her frowned deepened. “I don’t want to move on this, but we can’t wait on the Doom Patrol.”
A young woman handed her a few sheets of paper.
“Report in from an operative in New Orleans,” She told Val Vostok. “You might want to have a look at it.”
# # # # #
The movie theater only had a dozen occupants scattered around. Many rows were empty or were only occupied by one of two people.
The show was over and only one occupant still seemed interested in the blank, white screen. He sat alone in the center of one of the middle rows and stared at it intently.
He wore a yellow bodysuit with a small, black lightening bolt symbol on the chest, purple ankle boots, gloves and belt. His helmet resembled a WW1 soldiers’ helmet, except it seemed to be made out of a purple plastic, had a purple domino mask attached to it and there were two tiny lights protruding from the top. They blinked sporadically as he stared at the screen.
Larry Trainor plopped down in the seat next to him.
“Hey, Steve,” He said, struggling to sound casual. “ I hate to bug you when you’re busy being catatonic and drooling on yourself and I know I am one of your least favorite people to talk to but honestly, I am out of options and really need some help. So, I was hoping you and I could get past our problems and you could…um…could, well, let’s start with you acknowledging my presence, maybe…?”
The man in the mask and helmet continued to stare at the screen, his lips seemed to be faintly moving. There was no sign that he was aware of Negative man being there.
“Hey!” Larry shouted, snapping his fingers in front of the other mans’ face. “Mento! Come on, the Doom Patrol needs you!”
Steve Dayton, fifth richest man in the world, as well as the master of metal energy, Mento, stared straight ahead.
Negative man slumped in his chair. He looked around, unsure what his next step was. He spotted a half full tub of popcorn wedged into the seat next to him and helped himself to a handful.
“Yeah, should have figured this wouldn’t work,” He sighed while he chewed. “I just need something…anything to go right. Got a street full of people counting on me to get us through this. Can’t be expected to lead the Doom Patrol if I don’t actually have a team. Cliff’s even less responsive than you, the monkey hates me, the Chief just wants to fix VCRs and Kate and Rita are stuck in New Orleans…”
“Rita…” Mento breathed.
“What?” Larry exclaimed, leaning forward to peer into his estranged teammates’ face. Half convinced he’d imagined Mento responding. “Yeah, if we figure out how to help Danny, we could go find Rita. She…uh…she got left behind…”
“Rita…Rita needs me…?” Mento muttered, still staring straight ahead. “But, I need to stay. Stand watch…it’s out there…it’s coming…”
“What? What is?” Larry asked, confused and unsure if there was yet another menace he had to worry about or if his last resort for help had lost his grip on reality. “What are you doing, staring at the screen all the time?”
“It’ll find us…I have to be on guard…but, Rita…needs me…I’ve let her down…so much…. so many times before…”
Larry peered in confusion at Mento, now unsure if maybe more than a mental breakdown had happened to the man in the helmet and maybe he too had let a teammate down. He’d never really gotten along with Steve Dayton and been more than happy to leave him in the theater, while he concentrated on helping Cliff and Rita.
He was so caught up in his own thoughts that he didn’t notice when Mento turned his gaze away from the movie screen and towards him.
“What do you need me to do?” Mento asked.
The two heroes made their way back down the street, saw that the dust cloud was getting close enough that you could make out shapes and that Mallah’s estimate gave them minutes before the Chinese arrived.
Larry grabbed Mento’s arm and steered him down to the far end of the street.
“Where are we going?” Mento asked, taking in his surroundings with a detached curiosity.
“If we can ‘wake up’ Danny, then we don’t have to risk fighting the army,” Larry explained. “And I thought this would be a good spot…”
At the far end of the street was an old fashioned streetlight.
“It tends to light up to greet new arrivals,” The lined-wrapped hero said. “Rita said it reminded her of something out of the Narnia books…anyway I thought it might be a good place to try…”
“Hey!” Papercut called, jogging up. “No sign of the missing brick, but I think I got everyone inside…what’s going on? Isn’t he the guy from the movie theater…?”
“Yeah, long story,” Larry said, watching as Mento walked up to the lamppost and rested a gloved hand against it. The lights on his helmet began to pulse, like a heartbeat. “He has psychic powers and I’m hoping he can reach Danny.”
He casually held out the popcorn container.
Papercut shrugged, took a handful and absently munched while the duo stood and watched, unsure what was going to happen.
For several minutes, nothing seemed to happen, and then the lights on Mentos’ helmet began to flicker more rapidly.
Mento swallowed hard and his breathing got rougher, as though he was engaged in strenuous exercise. His shoulders slumped and he leaned forward till his helmet touched the streetlight. The lights began flashing even faster.
“Is something…?” Papercut asked, hesitantly.
“No idea,” Negative man shrugged.
Suddenly, Mento’s whole body went rigid and he seemed to be holding onto the street lamp for support. His eyes went wide and the lights on his helmet shown so bright Larry thought for a moment they might burst.
Mento lurched backwards, breathing in deep gulps of air. Papercut and Larry caught him before he fell and steered him to the nearest bench.
“So much…” Mento said, his lips barely moving. “Never…touched a mind like it…!”
“Is he okay?” Papercut asked, anxiously.
“Was he ever?” Negative man said. “Something happened…no idea what though…”
The two heroes stood anxiously studying the limp form of the master of mental energy.
Papercut scratched his head, realized they’d dropped the popcorn in their concern, patted his white jacket’s multiple pockets and took out half a roll of lifesavers. He glanced around idly, unsure what to do next.
“Um…what’s going on…?” He muttered, gesturing across the street.
“What now?” Larry asked, irritably.
Across the street the marquee of the movie theater suddenly lit up. As the lights brightly flashed and flickered the letters began to change as well. No longer did they list the times for showings of “Plan 9 from outer space” and “Fantasia”, now they simply read “Hello Sweetie.”
“Oh my god…!” Larry breathed, jogging over to the theater. “Danny’s back!”
The movie posters on either side of the door were still stylishly designed but instead of promoting coming attractions now read:
“Sorry, needed a lie down. What did I miss?” on one.
On the other: “felt a bit distressed after all that flitting about. Had the strangest dreams. Did we get a cat?”
“You sure Danny is okay?” Papercut asked, reading the posters.
“Yeah, he always talks like this. You get used to it.” Larry replied, before looking up to address the marquee. “It’s a long, weird story. Short version: Good to have you back. You’ve been bouncing all over the world in your…um… sleep. We left some people behind and are now stuck in China. Get us out of here then we can try and fix things. Okay?”
“Tell him about the brick.” Papercut suggested.
“Extra! Extra!” The newsboy shouted, as he ran up to them. He handed Larry a folded newspaper and then held his hand out for payment.
“Seriously, kid?” Larry said, as he unfolded the paper, it was the local paper the “Exquisite Times” He quickly read the headline “That might be a problem, dear.”
The rest of the front page read:
“Something went wrong during my nap and I’m still not feeling terribly fresh and productive. All the gallivanting about wasn’t planned on my part.
Continued on page seven…”
“Really…?” Larry asked irritably, getting ready to thumb through the pages.
“Look!” Papercut exclaimed. He pointed to a side article that read:
“Missing brick seems to be key to recent troubles.”
“Okay, things are better but not great.” Larry said, handing his teammate in the white jacket the paper. “Give it a look. You see anything we need to know give a shout. I’m going to join Mallah and Flex, buy us some time until Danny gets his act together.”
He ran off.
“What?” Papercut called after him. “What about Mento? Do I just leave him here?”
As Larry jogged along he noticed that Danny was using various signs and graffiti on the walls to communicate with him.
“Not playing coy, dear, just not feeling quite myself” In the record store window.
“Do the best I can, but some things you just can’t rush.” Spray-painted on a brick wall.
“Unfortunately, the Chinese army might not be in a patient mood,” Larry muttered as he ran.”
“I have faith in the Doom Patrol.” In sidewalk chalk in front of Kate’s coffee shop.
“Yeah, maybe it’s time I did too.” Larry said, not sure if he was still talking to Danny.
He soon joined Mallah and Flex Mentallo and the end of the street.
“Well?” The gorilla asked.
“I don’t know. Danny’s awake but not sure what he’s can do. We need to buy him some time.” Larry said, catching his breath.
An old fashioned taxi skidded to a halt and Papercut, Legion the newsboy, Mento and the driver, Hack O’ Hara scrambled out to join them.
“So, what’s the plan?” Papercut asked, watching as the military vehicles halted at the far end of the village and troops began to scramble out.
“Danny either whisks us away in the next five minutes,” Mallah said, drawing his guns and flicking the safeties off. “Or we most likely die here.”
“Can’t say I care much for that plan,” Flex said, cracking his knuckles and flexing his beefy arms.
“We got this,” Larry said, rolling his shoulders and then flexing his linen-wrapped hands, realizing that he meant it and despite the dire situation, that felt pretty good. “Come on guys, we’re the Doom Patrol.”
“Are we?” Mento asked.
“Damn right we are.” Larry said with a grim smile. “Who wants to help me take on an army?”
“Dibs on a tank,” Flex said, smacking his fist against his open palm. “Never fought a tank before.”
Papercut swallowed nervously then reached in to one of his many pockets and came out with two handfuls of paper stars.
“Okay,” He muttered, trying to keep his voice steady while he psyched himself up. “Yeah, why not? Let’s do this!”
“For you, big spender,” Legion said, handing Larry another newspaper. “Late edition.”
It read: “Boys, don’t you ever change! You might want to grab hold of something or at the very least click your heels. Back to Kansas, sweeties!”
“Everybody hold on!” Larry shouted right before reality lurched to the left and a flash of extra-dimensional light washed over the sentient street like a tidal wave…
To be continued…
Next issue: Okay, so you don’t get to see the Doom Patrol take on the Chinese army.
Sorry. Would it help you to forgive me if I told you we are going to learn the secret origin of Danny the street?