ISSUE #5 (May 2018)
Written by Travis Hiltz Negative Man
Mallah
Flex Mentallo
Papercut
Mento
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JUST OUTSIDE GALE, KANSAS
POPULATION: 212 Larry Trainor found himself sprawled on his back, lying in a field. He blinked; looking up at the clear blue sky for several moments before admitting he was going to have to sit up and find out what the hell was going on now. He raised himself upright and looked around. He spotted Danny the street, at the edge of the field. Mallah had been lying on his stomach and pushed himself up. He then fumbled around until he found his guns and beret. The gorilla glared at Larry as though all this; whatever was going on was his fault, as he got to his feet. “That…that was something,” Flex Mentallo said, coming over and offering Larry a hand up. He then took a deep breath. “Fresh country air, BBQ and old fashioned values…I’d say we landed in Kansas.” Larry peered at his new ally, unsure if he was joking. Then just shook his head and looked around to see who else had gotten tossed around. He spotted Chris, the assistant manger of the coffee shop; a couple of the street’s newly acquired Chinese residents, Mallah and Papercut the super villain turned sidekick. He also spotted small group from the sentient street approaching to check on those who got bounced upon landing. “Okay, good news,” Larry muttered. “We don’t have to fight the Chinese army…bad news, not sure where we are…” “It’s Kansas,” Flex said. “…Why we are here or what just happened. “Felt like some kind of dimensional turbulence,” Flex nodded, stroking his rugged chin in thought. “Must be something here that caused it…?” “Have we been here before?” Papercut asked, looking around. “I thought Danny was going to retrace his steps and find out who stole that brick and where he jumped off.” “This look familiar to anybody?” Larry asked. “I think so,” Chris said, uncertainly. “There was a morning where I was opening the shop where we bounced around to a couple places…think it was just after the North pole…this might have been one…?” “Hey!” Papercut exclaimed. “What happed to the guy with the bowl on his head…?” “Mento!” Larry exclaimed. “He was with us when…what ever the hell happened, happened…is he still with Danny?” “We need to stop stumbling around,” Mallah grunted. “This is solving nothing.” “He’s got a point.” Flex nodded. “How about I escort the non-super-powered folk back to Danny and while I’m there I can look for Mento?” “Sounds good,” Larry said. “Papercut can you send out some scouts?” “Sure,” the young ex-villain nodded, reaching into some of the numerous pouches on his belt and jacket. He quickly formed a squadron of origami birds that he sent out in search of their missing teammate. “Now what?” He asked. “Next, we try and figure this out,” Larry said, rubbing his linen-wrapped chin in thought. “If whoever stole the brick got off here, then he had to have a reason…meeting his…I don’t know, Boss or something…?” “Maybe that nearby town was his destination?” Mallah suggested, pointing into the distance. A pair of thin beams of purple energy that seemed to geyser out of the tall grass, incinerating several of Papercut’s birds, interrupted any further musing. The young ex-super villain winced as the psychic link between him and his scouts were violently severed. “Found something….” Papercut muttered. Mallah galloped across the field, using his arms as well as legs to propel himself along. Larry Trainor collapsed to the ground as the energy being that inhabited his body zoomed passed the ape to investigate. As Negative man approached the spot, the two beams crossed, striking him full in the chest, the Ebony being tumbled through the air landing with a thud several feet away. Papercut, with Larry’s senseless form draped over his shoulders came staggering along. He then lowered the bandaged-wrapped hero next to his energy doppelganger and jogged off to help Mallah. Larry groaned, rolled over on his side and found himself face to face with Negative man, which felt very strange, as the ebony being had no face. Yet, Larry could swear he could feel he was being intently studied. “Some…thing…something going on here…what…?” He muttered, before Negative man ‘whooshed’ back into his body. Larry got to his feet and immediately had to dodge Mallah, as the gorilla was flung backwards. As he helped him up he spotted Mento, who had gotten to his feet and immediately blasted Papercut. “Okay, Steve’s lost it,” He said, helping his simian teammate to his feet. “Again.” The newest addition to the Doom Patrol did appear to have “lost it”. The two electrodes on his bowl-shaped helmet were crackling with psychic energy and the hero’s face was screwed up in a grimace that seemed equal parts rage and pain. Blasts of mental energy burst almost at random from his helmet. In several places the tall grass had caught fire. Papercut was back on his feet sending a barrage of paper birds racing at the deranged hero. He quickly created some folded paper stars, which he flung at Mento like ninja weapons. “Stop fooling around and just hit him!” Larry shouted struggling to hobble over to the fight. Papercut frowned and then ran full tilt at Mento, at the last second he skidded to a halt and tossed a handful of confetti at the other hero, which swirled around Mento’s head like a tiny, raging blizzard. Papercut then lunged forward and caught his teammate with an uppercut that rocked Mento back on his heels and sent him staggering backwards. Mallah leapt out of the tall grass and yanked the helmet off Mento’s head, while kicking at the back of his knees. Mento collapsed to the ground, where he lay, panting and blinking. “Huh…actual team work,” Larry said, joining them. “There may be hope for us yet.” “What now?” Papercut asked, shaking his bruised fist then blowing on his knuckles. “He going to be okay?” Larry shrugged and knelt down next to his teammate. “Hey! Steve…you still with us?” He shook Mento’s yellow clad shoulder. The other man blinked, slowly focusing on the bandaged face leaning over him. “Trainor…Larry Trainor…where am I…?” He mumbled, rubbing at his sore jaw. “I was in a theater and…something about…Rita…is Rita here?” “Slow down,” Larry said, as Steve Dayton struggled to sit up. “Things have been a little weird. Rita’s not here, but we are going to find her as soon as we get this taken care of. Short version: you were acting a little rattled and I think some dimension hopping we did might have messed with your helmet. We need your help, but I don’t know if we can risk giving you your magic hat back…” He glanced up at Mallah, who was inspecting the circuitry inside the helmet. The gorilla shrugged in reply. “I can’t see any damaged circuits,” Mallah said. “I’d say it was more his exposure to other dimensional energy that unbalanced him…” “You mind?” Mento snapped, sitting up and snatching his helmet away from Mallah. “Since when did we put a super villain on the payroll as ‘science consultant’?” “I think it was shortly after our last two turned out to be insane megalomaniacs,” Larry replied. “Hold off putting on your magic hat until we figure this out…!” “Trainor, I designed and built the thing, not to mention I built up a company that has made me the fifth richest man on the planet…” “And there it is,” Larry muttered under his breath. “I don’t need General Ursus over here to tell me what’s up with my helmet.” Mento continued, glaring from the linen-wrapped hero to the gorilla. “So, you want to tell me where you managed to lose my wife and what I need to do to help your “team’?” “Am I missing something?” Papercut asked Larry, out of the side of his mouth. “What’s up with him?” “As Mento he’s unstable, as Steve Dayton, he’s just a dick.” Larry explained. “ Look, Dayton, We can’t go find Rita until we sort out what’s wrong with Danny the street. We tracked a guy, who took something from Danny, here and then you went nuts and we haven’t been able to pick up the trail.” “What am I looking for?” Steve Dayton asked. “Someone who came through this field giving off traces of multi-dimensional energy,” Mallah said. Dayton nodded then put his helmet back on. He adjusted the mask and stood still, the tiny nodes on top blinking rhythmically. He closed his eyes. “Something here…” He mumbled. “Danny was here before…strange mental energy pattern…over…there!” Mento turned and pointed to the far end of the field. “The weird energy signature…might be a meta-human of some kind…went there and there’s residual rift energy…” “He came here and teleported somewhere else,” Mallah nodded. The quartet walked across the field, Mento in the lead. “Um…is it just me, but why did Danny land as far away as possible from what we are walking toward?” Papercut asked, looking around anxiously. “Yeah, I was hoping I was only one thinking that,” Larry replied. At the far end of the field, tall dry grass gave way to another field, the grass well trimmed and green. “What are we looking for?” Papercut asked. “That.” Mallah replied, pointing to a spot in the air a few feet in front of them. It was a blurry patch, like a smudge on the fabric of reality. “Yes,” Mento nodded. “The rift is fading, but very slowly and may have left a permanent weak spot in space-time.” “So, we go through it, hope we find whoever stole the brick and worry that this thing doesn’t close with us on the wrong side…” Larry muttered. “What else could possibly go wrong…?” “Extra! Extra!” A new voice shouted. “Get your early morning edition!” Legion, the ragamuffin newsboy was standing at Larry’s side, holding a rolled up copy of the ‘Exquisite Times’, the local paper of Danny the street. Larry sighed, snatched the newspaper from the kid and began leafing through it. Young Legion stood by, his hand out expectantly. Mallah patted the pouches on his gun belt and flipped the kid a bullet in way of a tip. “Don’t spend it all in one place,” Larry said, not looking up from the paper. “Three day forecast,” He read. “Low chance of reality storms, getting stronger as we approach the weekend. Overcast with a chance of other-dimensional invaders…it just gets better by the minute…. letters to the editor…Dear Larry, I am sorry to say I cannot transport you though this rift. You will have to do it on your own. I hope to explain later. Good luck and thank you for taking care of me. XXX0, Danny…” “Danny knows more then he’s telling,” Mallah said, looking back across the field at the distant, sentient street. “Yeah, he sounds afraid of something,” Larry nodded. “So, what now?” Papercut asked. “We going through that…?” I am,” Larry said. “Don’t know about the rest of you…if this is all happening because someone is after Danny, then we need to make sure he’s protected. A lot of people get hurt if Danny is attacked while we are on the other side of…that.” “And you going off on your own would be a foolish plan,” Mallah said, gruffly. “Even by your standards.” “Okay,” Larry nodded. “Papercut, you go and help Flex keep Danny safe. You coming with me, I take it?” Mallah frowned, but then nodded. “I’ll go too,” Mento said. “You sure?” Larry asked. “I’m not sure about any of this,” Mento replied simply. Larry nodded and then sighed. “Yeah.” He nodded. ‘Let’s go.” The trio walked towards the hazy patch of reality. It began to pulse as they approached. Negative man and Mento stepped through and vanished. As they did the rift flared transparently and Mallah was sent tumbling backwards, landing at Papercut’s feet. “What…?” Papercut muttered. “What happened…?” “Nothing good,” Mallah grumbled, getting to his feet. “We need to get back to Danny.” Somewhere else, Larry Trainor felt like his skull had been turned inside out and someone was pouring hot gravy on his exposed brain. His eyes were convinced whatever they were looking at would soon cause them to explode. His nostrils burned and the urge to vomit was desperate, except he wasn’t sure if his stomach was still connected to the rest of his body. He tumbled through a void of unearthly sounds and impossible colors for what could have been a minute or a century before landing, like a bag of wet garbage thrown off a tall building, on a carpeted floor. He lay for several minutes, twitching and wincing, as all his internal organs rushed back to their original positions and his sanity slowly, reluctantly returned. Despite it feeling like his eyelids each weighed ten pounds, he managed to open his eyes. He was in a corridor, all done in white and beige. The lighting was soft and there was a faint hum of air conditioning. Out of the corner of his eye he could see Mento’s leg and a few feet away, the Negative being that inhabited his body was curled up in a fetal position against the wall. Larry struggled to push himself up until he was able to sit against the wall. It was so rare that he stayed conscious enough to ever see Negative man, that this was enough to momentarily distract him from their tortuous journey and incongrurious surroundings. It seemed that the black energy being was suffering as much as any of them from the trip. “Hey” Larry called, scooting laboriously closer to Negative man. “You…um…okay…?” The shivering stilled and as the energy being turned toward his host. There was again that strange feeling that despite his lack of features, the negative man was looking at him. Larry felt that it was even trying to tell him something. “Uuuuggghh,” Mento moaned and in the split second Larry glanced over at his teammate, the negative man raced through the air and back into Larry’s body. The bandaged hero felt lightheaded for a second and placed his hands down flat on the floor to keep his balance. “Whu-what happened…?” Mento asked, struggling to sit up. “ Gah! My mouth tastes like dried parchment and my head is full of…where are we…?” “I dunno,” Larry said, shaking his head until he realized it wasn’t helping his nausea. “Where’s Mallah?” “Can I help you gentlemen?” A voice asked. “Do you have an appointment?” Both heroes looked towards the voice and immediately winced. The speaker was…alien. So, alien that it hurt their brains to try and translate what it looked like into words. Lights, tentacles and something that his eyes refused to acknowledge punished their senses and tugged at their sanity. Both heroes blinked and when they opened their eyes a young, blonde haired woman in professional business attire was standing in front of them. She peered over her glasses at the two disheveled super heroes. “I…um…what are…where…where are…?” Larry struggled to talk as it felt like his brain had just gotten off a fast amusement park ride. “I see,” The being that might be any secretary you’d encounter in any generic office environment said. “I do apologize. You’re not on the schedule so we hadn’t adjusted the perception filter. Follow me please.” She gave a quick, dry smile and then turned and walked away down the white corridor. Both men climbed to their feet and slowly followed. “What the hell…?” Larry breathed, looking around. “Reality got turned inside out and we end up in customer service?” The young professional woman stopped at a bland door, tapped and there was a faint flash of green light underneath the door and when it opened a young man in a tie and short-sleeved button shirt, with a premature receding hairline leaned out. “What’s up?” he asked, glancing with open curiosity at the two bedraggled heroes. “Hi, R’land,” Their guide said. “Just wanted to let you know I’m taking care of these gentlemen, so may need to shift the %-thirty conference call.” “Tricky. That’s the Empire of tears guys, isn’t it?” R’land frowned thoughtfully. “How bout you give me your notes and join in soon as you can. Hate to reschedule…” “Sounds fine. Thanks” The door closed and they continued on their way, arriving soon at an inoffensively decorated waiting room. “If you’ll have a seat. I think Mr. Abhorcromby is free.” She tapped at a slim, professional headset she wore and spoke quietly, turning away from the duo. Larry plopped down on a beige sofa and Mento joined him, sitting back straight. “I don’t get this,” Larry said, arms crossed as he glanced around. “The people…” “They aren’t.” Mento interrupted. “Aren’t what?” “Aren’t people.” “Yeah, I figured out that much. Try looking at them out of the corner of my eye and my brain starts to melt.” Larry said. “Our…guide said something about a ‘perception filter’.” Mento reminded him. “It would seem they deal with…um…beings from across reality and are able to alter their appearance or how we see them.” “This place? We aren’t sitting on a sofa then either, are we?” Larry muttered. “Probably not.” Mento shrugged. Larry poked the arm of the sofa and frowned. The professional young woman returned. A pair of objects accompanied her. They resembled those plastic cones grocery stores put out when there is a spill. Except these looked to be made out of white marble and they floated along, several feet above the beige carpet. “If you gentlemen would follow me,” She said, with a slight, noncommittal smile. “It seems Mister Abhorcromby is available and can see you now.” “What are those?” Mento asked, pointing at the two hovering cones. “Standard security measures for new and unannounced clients,” She replied. “This way please.” They followed her down yet another long, white paneled, tan carpeted corridor, lined with doors, the white cones floating along behind them. Larry glanced around both curious and anxious, his attention caught but strange sounds coming from behind several of the doors. Mento’s focused was on their guide, his face stiff with concentration. They walked through a labyrinth of corridors and several rooms full of cubicles, before reaching a large door, its wood dark and worn as the alter in some ancient temple. Their guide gave it a light, discreet knock. An indistinct voice replied and just as the door opened, there was a flash of sickly light. The door swung open and seated at the desk was a small, middle-aged man with a perfectly round head, a receding head of grey hair and a dark suit with an uninteresting blue tie. He peered over his glasses at the new arrivals before removing them, placing them on top of a stack of papers he had been studying. “Ah, the gentlemen from…” He began in a distracted tone. “Phase 52, sir,” The young woman prompted. “Oh…yes, that matter. Well, have a seat gentlemen…coffee?” “You have coffee here?” Larry asked, incredulous and slightly impressed. “Everywhere has coffee,” Mister Abhorcromby said with a dry smile. “Now, mister…?” He paused and glanced at a fist-sized blue glass cube. “…Trainor,” He continued. “I’m sorry we were not prepared for your…visit. We here at Omni Limited pride ourselves on our professionalism and efficiency. It seems you have come here in regards to…?” He glanced up at the young secretary. “We believe it is in regards to GM23585.” She said, reading from a manila folder. “Ah! That project…” “We are here because something was stolen from a…um…friend of ours,” Larry explained, tersely. “Losing it was kind of harmful to our friend. We traced the person who stole it and…um…here we are.” Abhorcomby frowned thoughtfully for several seconds and then nodded. “Well, we have a slight difference of opinion,” He said, a corner of his mouth going up ever so briefly. “You see we sent our operative in search of a piece of Omni Limited property that had been stolen. Our operative retrieved what we believe is a piece of said property. Our operative brought it to this facility so we could investigate and hopefully verify if this was in fact true. If proven, we would have questions about how you came to be in possession of Omni- Limited property.” “Wait…what…?” Larry exclaimed, sitting up. The white cones moved menacingly closer. “Steady,” Mento said, placing a gloved hand on Larry’s arm. “I think we are talking at cross purposes. Perhaps we are disoriented from the transition from our dimension to your…office. I think we can resolve this without conflict. We can settle this like adults.” Mister Abhorcromby peered at Mento and pursed his lips thoughtfully for several moments. “Yes, perhaps we can.” He murmured getting to his feet. “Showing you might expedite matters.” “Sir…?” The young woman asked. “Our guests and I will be visiting the breeding floor, Shazbat.” Her supervisor replied, stepping around the polished desk. “Inform the shift supervisor. With me, gentlemen.” Again, they wandered seemingly endless white corridors, Mister Abhorcromby and the young woman in front, the white cones floating behind. Larry slowed his pace letting the two other-dimensional corporate types get a lead on them. “Am I thick?” He asked out of the corner of his mouth. “What am I missing? Were they hunting for Danny or were they looking for something else and stumbled on Danny? I’m lost…” “I think we’re about to find out,” Mento replied, quietly. The party stepped into a beige paneled elevator. Abhorcromby pushed a button and Larry could swear they began moving diagonally. The doors opened and the members of the Doom Patrol stepped out onto a factory floor roughly the size of the States of Vermont. Pipes ran overhead. The floor was bare concrete. Machines of unknown function stretched to the horizon. Workers scurried about, blurry figures that made Larry’s eyes water when he attempted to look directly at them. “Gentlemen, this way,” Mister Abhorcromby said, gesturing to a white railing. Both heroes walked over and looked down. It was like being at the top of the empire state building and looking down. “It’s a city…!” Larry breathed, once the sense of vertigo had passed. “No, it’s not,” Mento said, with a quiet intensity. “ Watch the streets.” “The…it keeps shifting, like it’s… moving…?” Larry said, puzzled. “The streets are moving! They took that brick because they were after Danny…!” Mento touched his arm, to get Larry’s attention. They glanced over at the two otherworldly corporate employees and their bizarre attendants. “Danny was…what…built here?” Larry asked, under his breath. “More like grown,” Mento replied. “He did refer to this as a ‘breeding floor’. Larry leaned his bandage-wrapped hands against the white plastic railing, trying to get his thoughts under control. They’d been shot across reality to this weird place and not only did they seem to be behind the stolen brick, but they seemed to be behind Danny as well. “They stole the brick so they could get Danny,” He muttered to himself, confusion slowly morphing into thought. “Why…?” “Well, if he is their property…” Mento began. “No, I get that part, but why not just grab Danny?” Larry asked, his forehead wrinkled in thought. Not that Mento could see that, under all the bandages. “Why take the brick, when you want the whole street…? What are we missing?” Mento frowned, peering down at the herd of sentient streets down below. “You’re right,” He said, after several moments. “Why sneak around, when they seem to have the resources…or maybe even some kind of legal right, to just reclaim Danny?” The two stood silent, seconds ticked by and they could feel the gaze of the other-dimensional businessman and his staff at their backs. They were far from home and any of their teammates and deep in the heart of an alien force they barely understood, let alone had a chance of combating. Larry sighed, and then peered down at the swirl of moving streets, then glanced over his shoulder at Abhorcromby and company. “I think…I’ve got this figured out,” He muttered to his teammate. “Really…?” Mento replied, with dry skepticism. “Don’t,” Larry grumbled. “I need Mento here, not Dayton.” Mento nodded and gave his helmet a light tap. Larry sighed, squared his shoulders and turned to face Abhorcromby and company. “So, what now?” He asked. Miss Shazbat moved to hand her supervisor a folder and he lazily waved it away. “Well,” The little man said, matter of factly. “We are willing to concede that you are not responsible for the theft of GM23585, but have merely, unknowingly, received stolen property. Analysis of the…acquired object confirms it is our property. Omni-Limited is willing to waive any legal action once GM23585 has been returned.” Larry brought his hand up to his chin, his whole posture was of deep thought. “Okay, here’s my counter offer,” He then said, much to the other being’s surprise. “You return the brick to us, point us to the way back to Earth and promise to leave Danny, the Doom Patrol and Earth, alone.” “I’m sorry, what…?” Abhorcromby said, showing the slightest crack in his veneer of self-assurance. “Why? Why would we do that?” “Because we are more trouble then we are worth,” Larry replied. “And if you guys were as respectable and on the up and up as you are trying to appear, you wouldn’t have stolen the brick in the middle of the night.” “There are delicate issues in dealing with GM23585…”Shazbat began. “Danny,” Larry interrupted. “He has a name. Maybe if you’d tried to talk to him you could have…” “That’s what this is all about,” Mento said, quiet and stern. “The streets are pack animals, but Danny isn’t. Danny is sentient and whether it happened by accident or design, you need him back.” “Danny wasn’t stolen,” Larry said, grabbing this new bit of information and running with it. “ Danny ran away, he escaped! And you guys are scrambling, either so you can figure out how to duplicate it or to keep it from happening again and you need to do it before you get found out…you’re not the boss, you are other-dimensional middle management and you don’t want to explain all this.” He pointed a finger at the man in the suit. “And we can make enough noise, if push comes to shove, that your share holders or the local version of law enforcement…you have Green Lanterns out here? Somebody, anybody starts asking questions.” Shazbat gave a stifled gasp and Larry was sure if she’d been wearing pearls, she would have been clutching them, to hear someone talk to her boss that way. Abhorcromby’s face went worryingly neutral, but the two heroes could feel the anger coming off of him, like heat from a bonfire. The two, bedraggled –looking mummy and man in the immaculate grey suit locked gazes. Abhorcromby sighed in aggravation. “So tiresome dealing with you…creatures…from the lower realms,” He breathed. “You crawl around some rock and the minute you discover how to make fire, think that you deserve a place at the table.” His eyes flashed with a spark of blue otherworldly light and his form seemed to briefly flicker, giving the two heroes a glimpse of something larger and grotesque. Mento put a hand to his temple and the lights on his helmet flashed rapidly. Larry blinked and pinched the bridge of his nose. He looked away for a second and noticed there were now more of those odd white cones floating on the other side of them. “I’ll have to have my office fumigated to remove the stench of three dimensional vermin,” Abhorcromby continued with distracted menace, glancing over at his assistant. “Most likely just burn that sofa…” “I don’t think he is considering your counter offer,” Mento muttered, anxiously. “Have we ever had any luck just trying to talk things over?” Larry asked, clenching his fists. “I don’t know how much help I’m going to be. This place seems to be messing with Negative man.” “Well, if this is it, just remember,” Mento said, grimly. “I still don’t like you, Trainor.” “Yeah, don’t worry, I still think you’re a jerk too,” Larry said, with a smile. He turned back to Abhorcromby. “Last just to solve this like adults.” The other being frowned and casually gestured for the dozen or so hovering cones to deal with the duo. Red lights on the top of each cone, like an opening eye. Psychic lightening shot from Mento’s helmet, sending the two nearest cones to rock and wobble. The nearest came away with cracks across its shiny, white veneer. The second dropped several inches and then slowly recovered. Larry furrowed his brow in concentration, but seemed unable to release Negative man. It felt strange, not like this dimension was interfering with their link, but rather like Negative man himself was reluctant to leave the shelter of its host body. “Come on…!” He muttered, gritting his teeth in effort, as a trio of the security drones floated closer. “What is going on with you…? Get out here!” With a feeling like something inside his body was tearing, Larry Trainor gasped and Negative man was released. He zoomed through the crowd of white cones, scattering them like bowling pins and disappeared down a corridor. Everyone paused, startled, trying to make sense of the flash of black energy, but then returned to the battle. Larry leaned against the railing, bracing for the usual weakness that companioned the arrival of Negative man and was surprised when it didn’t occur. “What the hell…?” He muttered, before straightening up and punching the nearest drone. It rocked back, colliding with the one behind it. They soon recovered and there was soon a semi-circle of the cones fencing him in. Despite their lack of faces, Larry could feel them glaring at him angrily, as the top of each one began to glow brighter red. Mento indiscriminately zapped at the cones, halting his attempt to reach the two corporate beings and instead trying to fight his way to his teammate. Abhorcromby looked faintly annoyed that the whole thing was taking so long. He glanced at his wristwatch in irritation. “Should I reschedule your %: 15 meeting?” Young Shazbat asked. Negative man returned, streaking between the two, causing the young woman to drop her folders and send papers flying. It swooped back, scattering the cones again, flew past Larry, tossed an object at him and then headed full speed at Abhorcromby and Shazbat. Larry found himself holding the missing brick. He looked down at it and then up at where his other half was going now. Negative man skidded to a halt, floating in front of the pair from Omni-Limited. Shazbat gave a faint gasp, and even her seemingly unflappable supervisor seemed to pale a bit. The cones all halted, stopping in mid-air around the two Doom Patrollers. Several were cracked and giving off faint tendrils of smoke. In the sudden quiet, all Larry could hear was the faint crackling noise Negative man regularly gave off, but it felt like there was communication going on between the ebony energy creature and the other-dimensional business executive. “Ah…well, this…um… changes matters,” Abhorcromby said, appearing visibly humble. “If I’d been informed of your involvement…well, we could have…dealt with this matter differently.” Negative man tilted its head slightly to the side. Abhorcromby nodded, but seemed to have trouble making eye contact with the other being. Negative man flew back over to Larry and Mento. Again Larry could feel the faceless being looking distinctly at him. “What is going on…”? He muttered. “Do you hear …something…?” Mento asked, rubbing his forehead. “What…are you doing?” Larry asked. “What do you want…?” He had the impression that that the ebony being was about to speak when it was suddenly peppered with red energy blasts. Negative man shuddered and flailed about. Several of the pencil-thin beams missed him, one striking Mento in the arm; another caught Larry across the thigh. “Damnit…!” He grunted, through gritted teeth. “I do regret this action,” Abhorcromby said, raising his voice to be heard over the barrage of laser fire from the white cones. “But, events have progressed too far.” He gave a shrugged and then crossed his arms, appearing almost impatient for the cones to finish slaughtering the three so he could get on with his day. A beam creased Larry’s temple and he sank to his knees. Mento continued to blast away at the crowd of wildly firing cones, but was on the verge of being overwhelmed. Negative man, cracked leaking tendrils of green energy, crawled over and reached out, collapsing just as its fingertips brushed the brick Larry was still holding. A trio of blasts caught Mento in the chest and he struggled to keep firing back even as he fell. The trio lay sprawled on the pristine factory floor. The swarm of cones, pulsing evilly, moved in for the kill. Larry felt a weird trembling pass through his body, unsure if it came from both he and Negative man touching the brick or was merely the hum of machinery coming up through the floor. “Whoa there, fellows!” A new voice announced. “This has got to violate some workplace safety rules.” Larry struggled to look up, only managing to force one eye open. Flex Mentallo stood nearby, hands on hips, sternly disapproving of what he was seeing. “Have to say,” Flex continued. “Much as I admire the cleanliness and efficiency of this place, I’m afraid there may be some roughhousing if you don’t release my friends.” “Oh my…!” was all young Miss Shazbat could manage, taking in the muscular form walking towards her and her supervisor. “Scuse me.” Flex said, making his way through the horde of floating white cones. He paused to glance down at his worse for the wear teammates. “You boys can’t recognize a rescue when you see one? “ He said, with a reassuring smile. “If you make your way down that corridor. I’ll keep these folks busy.” Leaning on each other, Mento and Larry struggled to their feet. Larry paused, the brick in one hand, with the other he reached for the fallen Negative man. “Come on…!” He exclaimed, breathless, as he struggled to pull the energy creature back into his body. “You going to give up now? The freakin’ cavalry showed up! Let’s… go…home…!” The crackling shards sluggishly drew back together into a cracked, rough version of Negative man and it flew into Larry’s chest. “God…damn…!” He winced, feeling like he’d been punched in the gut while experiencing the world’s worst ice cream headache. He and Mento staggered away. “Where are…uh…are we going?” Larry asked, panting. “There!” Mento said. A side corridor ended with a familiar park bench, old-fashioned street lamp and a heavily armed gorilla. Mallah gestured with his gun for them to hurry up. As they staggered past him, Larry noticed the shattered remains of several security cones. “How…?” Larry asked. “Later,” Mallah grunted. “Get to shelter. You look like hell.” “Missed you too,” Larry muttered, as he and Mento collapsed on the bench. Flex Mentallo came jogging up, with a dozen cones in close pursuit. “Shake a leg, Danny!” He shouted. “These folks don’t know how to treat guests!” “Not as easy as it sounds.” A nearby radio, perched on an open windowsill, replied statically. “Papercut is also fending off some party crashers.” “The brick…!” Mento mumbled, struggling to get his bruised body to sit up. “Put it back…!” “Yeah, right, yeah,” Larry said, equally weak and boneless. Mallah holstered his guns, threw Larry over his shoulder and began running down the street, swerving around and occasionally jumping over any obstacle that got in their way. Larry could feel his bones rattling as they went. Mallah ducked down an alley, and dropped Larry in a heap in front of the empty spot in the wall. The bandaged hero raised a trembling hand and jammed the brick back into place. All the lights came on, up and down Danny the street. A tremor ran the length of the street, not an earthquake, but rather the stretch of someone waking up after a long nap. Larry pulled himself up into a sitting position, slumped against the newly repaired brick wall and slight smile on his weary and bruised face. “Let’s blow this joint,” He muttered. The letters on the theater marquee rearranged themselves to read ‘your wish is my command, baby doll!” As reality parted like a curtain, allowing Danny the street to exit this level of it. Next: Okay, how did the cavalry get from Kansas to the offices of Omni-Limited? We answer that question, plus: Danny the street in space! And we finally see what the ladies have been up to! Special guest stars! Weird menaces! And when it’s all done, yet another new member will be added to the cast! |